After the Honeymoon: A fifty shades fan fiction

Chapter 17

Ana POV

A night out with Kate had been the medicine that I needed. Plopping myself down on my bed after an exhausting night of socializing and drinks was all my muscles had the energy for. All of a sudden I felt a huge wave of nausea wash over my body starting in the pit of my stomach driving past my esophagus and to my mouth. I shot out of bed with the little energy that I had left and ran to the bathroom at the end of the hall dropping to my knees. I wretched hard involuntarily spewing the remnants of my night into the toilet. Rarely was I ever drunk but with the recent stress from my rocky relationship I had made the last minute decision to through caution to the wind.

Again my body was thrown forward as I emptied my stomach contents into the toilet. The acidic taste of hot wings and nachos pursed my lips, making me gag further. My head ached and throbbed in pain. I stumbled to my feet prying open the medicine chest to see if there was some Tylenol to ease my suffering. I opened the bottle and emptied two extra-strength Tylenol's into my hand and washed it down with a large cup of water. My misery had only just begun. The hangover tomorrow would be atrocious, something I was not looking forward to. I downed a second glass of water this time more slowly, hoping to re-hydrate myself.

Thank God Christian was not here to see me this way. I feared his anger and disappointment. I loved going out with Kate and getting a little crazy I worked hard and was no stranger to letting lose after a hard week. Christian had made it perfectly clear that there would be a strict list of rules that I would be expected to follow and consequences would follow if they were broken. Would Christian ease on the rules after marriage counselling? A part of me doubted it.

There may be a consequence for my actions but it was a decision I made. There was comfort in knowing that I was in control of myself and my decisions no matter how poor they were. It was a freedom that I was not willing to give up no matter how deep my love was. No one that loved me would want to take that away. I wiped my mouth with a cloth then brushed my teeth quickly to take away the retched taste that was stinging the inside of my mouth. I sauntered back over to the bed the plopped my body back on top of the covers in a last moment of defeat. My whole body was starving for rest.

I reached for my phone in reflex intending to dial Christian then thought better of it. His presence would not bring my soul peace right now. closing my eyes I slowly let the much needed sleep wash over me.

Christian POV

The middle of the week came quickly. Loneliness and sadness weighted heavy on my mind but with a job with constant demands I had the benefit of digging in to keep my mind busy. Ana was in the driver's seat of the relationship and I could not help but feel a sense of animosity over it with a slight hint of desperation. This relationship was failing before my eyes and I was no failure. All the other women that I had previous relations with had been more than co-operative. The whole agreement seemed so simple. Why wouldn't she just follow my plan? I'll do the counselling but somehow deep down I knew that I would be the loser.

RING! RING!

"Hello." greeted Ana

"Hi, Ana can I help you with something?" I asked

I could practically feel her internal pain through the phone speaker. I wanted to comfort her and tell her it would all work out in the end and we would be stronger for it but I wanted to give her the chance to explain the reason for her call.

"I know I said we should try counselling but something tells me it will only be a temporary solution." Ana started

"We haven't tried yet. Is there something else bothering you?" I asked

"Being a dominent is such an important part of your world. Do you really think marriage counselling is going to change that?" She asked

"To be honest I'm not sure," I replied "Are you having second thoughts?"

"Yes," She said choking back tears "I don't think I can make you happy. Sure we could go to marriage counselling and talk but in the end your desires to have a submissive will still be there. Soon you will grow tired of of me and find someone that better suits your lifestyle."

"You don't know that for sure though." I countered

"You also don't know that i'm wrong." She replied.

"Ana I can change," I pleaded "I'm sure we can compromise on the rules. You haven't even tried things my way yet. You may find that it's not as awful as you think."

"No you can't and you don't want to, and that's ok but trying to force me to fit into this mould of a perfect submissive wife is making us both miserable and you know it." She cried

"Ana it's you that I want that I promise you." I continued

"I care so deeply about you but we will never find happiness being together," She cried her face hot and wet with tears of pain.

"I don't want this to end," I answered choking back the tears that were sounding in my voice.

"Neither do I," She replied "but maybe this isn't meant to be."

I hesitated for a brief moment trying figure out how to ease the situation and change her thinking. Ana was a light peaking into my darkness. Her presence, her life kept my mind centered and prevented my psyche from breaking. I wasn't ready to just give her up.

"Come see me. You need to see how sincere I am. If we both love each other there is no reason why this can't work," I pleaded.

All I heard was the sound of Ana's breath as she thought carefully about her response. Her hesitation made my stomach turn and my heart race. It seemed like a simple request but it had the power to change everything. We needed to rediscovered our love and embrace it.

"Ok," She sighed finally. "Do you want me to come now?"

"If your available," I responded.

"OK, I'm on my way." She said before hanging up the phone.