I Love Yoo, Maybe

Chapter 108

SHIN-HYE (Shin-ae's sister)

"I mean, you knew my schedule for months. If you wanted to see me, like you claimed, why didn't you reach to me sooner?" Her voice is trying to stand firm, but I know when my little sister is hurting. 

And I hate that I'm the cause of it. Taking the chair next to her, I debate within myself on where to start. I wanted to reach out.  I really did!  When I saw her at the k-mall the first time, I wanted to pull her aside and re-introduce myself to my baby sister.  For years, I dreamt of what I would do if fate brought me back to Shin-ae.  

But then I saw him. Hirahara Kousuke  He probably didn't think anyone recognized him.  But I did. I saw how he hovered and watched over Shin-ae. I saw him bringing in that nasty mother and her punk child to mall security.  And I'm quite sure, on another day, I saw him buy Shin-ae food outside an arcade.

No, I couldn't expose myself.  Not with him there.  And when I learned that Shin-ae began working at the Hirahara firm, I had no choice but to stay away.  For that, I hated Kousake.  But, despite my feelings, I knew that little sister would be in good hands.  Kousuke is nothing if not dutiful.  He even bought Shin-ae her first corporate attire.

Shin-ae probably doesn't remember, but I was the one that gave her fashion advise as soon as Kousuke left her side.  I couldn't introduce myself as Shin-hye without causing a scene, especially with Kousuke near by.  But I still wanted to help her, knowing how she prefers comfort over the glam look.  So, I encouraged her towards business pants.  Unfortunately, when I saw Kousuke making his way back to Shin-ae, I knew my time was up.  Even after leaving with my friend, I couldn't stop thinking about her. 

Would she be ok? Did I do enough?  Should I have risked it all and introduced myself as Shin-hye?

These questions plagued me.  I was separated from her for so long, I couldn't rest until I knew she was taken care of.  That's why I snuck around for months.  In my own way, I wanted to watch over her. 

And now, seeing the pain and confusion in Shin-ae's eyes, I started to hate Mother and Father too. Mother splits us up, and Father was ok with it and didn't fight for us!  As if we were just consolation prizes that they won from their failed marriage.  But I can't tell Shin-ae this – not now.   Yet, I know she deserves answers.

I guess little sister feels impatient from my lack of response. "If all you're going to do is sit there," she tells me, "then I guess I'm just wasting my time."

I put my hand over hers to stop her from leaving. "Please, I'm sorry. I was just trying to figure out how to answer you."

"Truthfully is the best way, if you want to earn my trust."

I nod. "You're right." I remove my hand from hers and confess, "Things have happened, Shin-ae. And while I know Mama and Papa have done their best, I must be honest with you: I don't want them in my life." Her back straightens and her eye widen. But she stays seated and waits for me to continue. I take that as a good sign. "I haven't spoken to Mama in the past 6 years."

SHIN-AE

This is crazy! I'm crazy! She hasn't spoken to Mama in 6 years? Honestly, if it weren't for her eyes and frankness, I would've left by now.  But...I need to know.  

"What do you mean, you haven't spoken to Mama in 6 years? For all I know, this could be scam! I mean you haven't given me anything specific."  Despite the tension in the air, this crazy lady grins at me. WTF is so amusing?? 

Then, she raises her hands and counts down random bits of information.  "Your favorite food is all of them. You and Papa loved to play pranks.  No matter how hard Mama tried, you never liked to wear the dresses she bought you.  And when played and hide-and-seek, I always found you."

That...that is all true! 

"And," Shin-hye continues, "I did reach out to you. Do you remember when you were looking for business clothes with your boss?"

Ok, I'm beginning to freak-out now!  "Y-yes. How did you - "

"I was the one that encouraged you to look at pants, because we all have different preferences when it comes to clothing." With a sad smile, she looks down and continues. "Then, I introduced myself as Yujing. It was the name Mama changed it to after she...after we split up." She looks back up at me, as if begging for acceptance. 

But before I could reply, a familiar voice calls out. "Shin-ae!" I turn around and see Dieter approaching us.

"Dieter??" I couldn't keep the shock out of my voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Shopping with my grandmother and sister. I came here for a break when I spotted you." He looks towards big sister, then back to me and blushes. "I'm sorry! Am I interrupting something?"

SHIN-HYE (aka: YUJING)

Hmm. I do a quick mental assessment of this kid talking to little sister: accent – American, with German undertones; complexion – Anglo, should stay away from certain colors; disposition – insecure and possibly crushing on Shin-ae. So, naturally, I do what any big sister would do.

I introduce myself. "No worries.  You didn't interrupt.  I'm just catching up with my little sister."  I stand up and stretch out my hand. "My name is Yujing."

I can't tell what went through the German-American's mind, but it couldn't be good. His face went from bashful to fierce outrage. WTF?

"You!" he exclaims, making a scene.

Shin-ae quickly stands up and attempts to calm him down. Key word: attempts.

"Dieter! It's ok. Please, trust me!" she begs.