That's why I..

Chapter Thirty Eight

Lexa POV

I have to dismount my horse to hear what the people are saying but it isn't until I turn back around that I realise the others are still on their horses. Raven and Murphy look kind of shocked or scared. I realise quickly that they have never been to Polis before and this is what they have been greeted with. They look as though they have just walked straight into a cult and signed their lives away, both of them looking around nervously for an escape.

I catch their attention and smile gently at both of them and then gesture for them to dismount their horses. Soon enough Octavia and Abby are on the ground and Murphy follows the trend but Raven stays firm on her horse. At first I think it is in defiance but I soon notice the small glint of sadness and pain in her eyes. I look to Murphy and it is clear to me that he has realised the same thing as me.

"She can't get off her horse" he whispers "Her leg..." he trails off, clearly worried about her. I know that the last thing Raven wants is to look weak in front of all of my people. I sympathise with her and make a plan in my head. Not wanting to break the silenece, I whisper quietly to the others

"Octavia, you have been here before. Give Abby to a guard and tell them to take her to the dungeon. Then lead yours and my horses to the stables. Murphy get back on your horse and you and Raven will ride behind her. Once you get to the stables you will have enough privacy to help Raven down from her horse. I will take Clarke to the tower. When you are done with the horses go and find Indra and ask her to take you to the throne room. I will meet you there."

Raven's face is thankful that I understand her want to not look weak. Truth is she is very strong and the problem in her leg only makes everything else about her stronger. I make a mental note to tell her the story of our most praised gona (warrior), Glandoria, the one armed destroyer of worlds.

I lift Clarke gently down from where she has been lying on the horse. She stirs but does not wake. I am thankful for that. Once Clarke is off the horse I hold her 'wedding style' in my arms. She is so frail. I could lift her with one arm. I hold back a tear at the sight of her and nod to the others to get going. All I have to do now is keep my composure while I walk through the masses of people to Hedas Tower.

I start to move forward and the crowd instantly parts all the way down to the tower. There is a clear path. Once everyone has parted they bow down onto their knees again. As I walk down slowly everyone is still quietly chanting for Clarke or giving me their regards. Many people give me sad and weary looks, perhaps remembering how I was after Costia died. The thought of that makes me want to wake Clarke up right now and make sure she stays awake. If she's awake she can't die. I am then overcome by emotions. I feel so much more for Clarke then I ever did for Costia. If Clarke dies it will be the end of me. I collapse to my knees in the middle of the cobblestone path. I hold back my tears and try to stand back up. Regain my composure. But I can't. I sit there staring at Clarke's sleeping body, biting back my emotions until someone touches me on the shoulder. It is at that moment that all the people calling out to me swarms my head and I flick my head around to see who touched me. Lincoln stands before me and has sympathy in his eyes. I stand to greet him, leaving Clarke on the floor as she sleeps. I hold out my forearm for him to show my respect to him for him and the lengths he went to to get everyone to be quiet. Instead of taking my forearm he takes me by the shoulder and smiles before he spins me around on the spot.

I stand there confused as to why he did that until I see it.

"Clarke" I mutter. She's awake.