I Can't Love You (ManxBoy) | Interracial | BOOK 1 & 2

ICLY 2:16

I love y'all enjoy

Abel

I couldn't believe I really had the courage to finally leave -- not going to lie I felt so good on the inside. I need to find some happiness and being with Gotti I wasn't happy -- some days were good don't get me wrong but the bad outweighed the good. If he loved me and wis' how he claimed he did, then he was going to do everything in his power to change -- start treating me like his equal instead of someone beneath him and start to spend time with his son how he should be doing, wis' really only knows me which sucks to admit. Once Gotti took over for his father, honestly, everything and everyone became second to it.

I got to Jerome house but I didn't unpack or get too comfortable, I didn't plan on staying for too long -- his apartment was only big enough for him and plus he was in a relationship now. I know he didn't have a problem with me or his nephew being here but I didn't want to feel like I was taking over his space so first thing in the morning I was going to go and look at some apartments. I didn't need anything fancy just something for me and wis' and with the money Gotti' gave me when I was pregnant and moved into my first apartment when Gotti and I weren't together, I think I could find something nice and affordable.

" Do you wanna tell me what happened? " Jerome took a seat beside me on the couch. " You come here in the middle of the night with my nephew so it had to be serious. "

" I left him. " I said. " I couldn't do it anymore and I decided to leave. " I tried keeping it simple.

" You left him for the night or you really left him, left him. " He continued.

I shook my head. I know I had a habit of leaving him and then going back but this time was different.

" I'm really done -- until he gets it together I'm not going back this time. " I told him.

He sighed. " Even if he does you don't need to go back to him -- he's a toxic person and you don't need to be around that or wis'. You deserve better man. He always says he gonna change, get you back where he want you and the old Gotti slowly but surely slips back up. "

I always wanna put wis' and what's best for him first but I didn't know what to do. I wanted wis' to have the both of us in his life -- I wanted him to grow up and see both his parents together. I wanted to believe Gotti could change but it's been too long and I haven't seen it yet. Now that I'm finally gone, maybe I should just keep it this way and we both go our separate ways -- we could co-parent and wis' would still have us both. I needed to put myself first and I deserved to be happy more then anything.

_

I woke up the next morning with a clear mind. I was officially done. I sat up for a few hours last night just thinking about my life and I wanted better. Gotti' had been blowing my phone up constantly all night which eventually led to me blocking his phone number. I know it may seem a bit much but the constant calls and texts messages coming through was insane -- and it was typical Gotti sending threats how he always does. I got up while wis' was still asleep, picked some clothes out for the day and headed to take a shower. After that I needed to get something to eat because I hadn't ate since I left the mall yesterday afternoon. I was drained, emotionally, physically and mentally but I knew in the end everything would work out and me and my child would be just fine.

_

A few weeks later and I was finally getting settled into my apartment. It wasn't too big or too small it was just right. I got a one bedroom because I still feel like wis' is too small to be in his own room and plus over the last few months he's become my little cuddle buddy. The bedroom was big, especially the walk in closet -- I had tons of sneakers and clothing, plus baby wis' things so that was a plus. I mentally sighed just thinking about the day I showed up to Gotti' house to get our belongings.