I rolled the small blue pill back and forth in the palm of my hand. I wasn't considering if I should stop taking it. I was merely curious about how something so small could change someone's entire life.
Fluoxetine, or rather Prozac, was my life line. It helped me sleep at night, eat a few times during the day, and still manage to get up and do it again the next morning. No panic attacks, no nightmares, and most importantly no dark thoughts about escaping life. It was worth not being able to use magic.
I put the pill in my mouth and swallowed it with a sip of water. I paused to look in the mirror. My reflection looked healthy enough. I even had a light tan thanks to all of my out door training lately. The only sign that anything was wrong at all was if someone could see it in my eyes. Even if they could see it there was nothing anyone could do. I had already done everything I could and so had Matthew. This was the best that my life could get given my circumstances and it was pretty good all things considered. I was able to take care of Amelia and teach combat courses as if nothing was wrong at all.
Speaking of Combat courses, I was already running late for one. I flipped my hair up into a pony tail and headed out before I could fall too far down the rabbit hole of thoughts. I jogged to the field. The last few weeks had been kind to me. My body had begun healing at an astonishing rate. It was almost as fast as it had been when I was a werewolf. Matthew had mentioned that it had something to do with the blood transfusion I had received after my last surgery. I was healing like a werewolf because the blood in my veins was mostly werewolf.
My steps faltered when I reached the field. My brother Aaron Avi, the beta, and the man that had rejected me Silas Brogan, the Alpha, were already on the field with my girls. I hadn't expected to see them, him, today. Alex saw me first he nudged his mate, Quinn and nodded toward me. In a flash Quinn was coming at me.
Quinn had done this a handful of times over the past couple weeks. It was his way of offering a distraction. As he neared I took a casual step to the side and used his momentum to send him tumbling into the dirt. He rolled and landed on his feet. As usual our miniature sparing match attracted the attention of everyone on the field. Quinn rose to his feet and smirked. He wasn't done playing. I rolled my eyes at his cocky smile but couldn't suppress the flicker of my own. He was going down.
Quinn rushed me again. This time he zeroed in on my legs. I didn't try to jump over him. He was too fast for that and it would hurt when he caught me. Instead I allowed him to lift me. I flipped slightly while I was in the air so that I had one leg across his chest and used the other to lock him in to an armbar leg lock.
"Shit." He hissed. He sank down to his knees. Any moment now and he would have to tap out or risk passing out.
I wasn't expecting Alex to step in and help him. Within seconds they had me pinned.
A course of boos started up from my girls and I had to agree. They were cheaters. I glared up at Quinn but his smirk didn't falter. He leaned forward and kissed my nose before they released me. Alex held his hand out to help me up. I accepted it and dusted off.
'Traitor.' I signed.
"Traitor!" Cassy echoed for me out loud.
"Yeah!" Several of the girls agreed.
"Aww Babe don't be salty. You can't win every time." Quinn winked.
"Alright ladies. These gentlemen came out to see how your training is progressing. Pair off and show them what you've learned this week." Cassy said as I signed. We all watched as the girls broke into their groups and began imitating the moves I had taught them.
"They are doing well." Silas said.
His voice was smooth and deep. My stomach knotted. I hated that I loved it. I swallowed hard and nodded. I didn't look at him. It was always easier if I didn't have to see him when he spoke. Alex linked one of his fingers with mine and squeezed. It was a sweet gesture. I squeezed back.
"Have you had any trouble with the new shifts?" Silas asked.
I shook my head no. Some of the girls had recently had their first transitions and were now able to shift between human and werewolf. I was careful to make sure that the girls knew to pair off with someone that matched their strength level. A shifting werewolf was no match for one that hadn't yet been able to do so.
"Ok." Silas said and walked out on to the field to get a closer look at the girls' techniques.
"How are you, Ry?" Aaron asked.
'I'm ok.' I signed.
"You'll tell us if that changes though, right?" Aaron said. I nodded with a light smile. It wasn't true but it wasn't a lie either. I would tell someone if I wasn't ok. I had. Most likely it would be Emily or Matthew. It certainly wouldn't be Silas or his best friend, even though technically his best friend was my brother.
"Your lying is shit." Quinn whispered and shoulder bumped me. "If you ever decide you want to piss him off..." Quinn winked.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
"We both know I'm more her type." Alex squeezed my fingers again.
"As long as I can watch." Quin shrugged.
______________________________________________________________
"Everything looks good. Your temperature is normal. There's been no fluctuations in your hormones... If I'm being completely honest you are the healthiest that I have ever seen you." Matthew said.
"So the heat stopped completely after the transfusion?" Emily asked.
Matthew and I both nodded.
"But I thought you said it wouldn't stop unless..." Emily shook her head in confusion.
"Unfortunately, this is uncharted territory. There's no way to know for sure if or when it might start again. That's why we are still running regular tests." Matthew said.
"So if everything is normal and you can run tests to flag any problems maybe you and Silas could..." Emily started.
I shook my head before she could even finish her thought.
'Silas doesn't want to try. He said so already.' I signed.
"But I don't think he expected you to recover so quickly and so... well." Emily said.
'We didn't know what would happen. I wanted to wait it out and see and Silas walked away. He didn't want to try and he didn't care what I wanted.' I signed.
Emily shifted Amelia as she tried to think of something else to say but she knew I was right. Silas had made this decision without me. I was going to make my own decisions without him.
'You should go. I know Aaron was looking forward to your fancy dinner tonight.' I signed and held my arms out for Amelia. Emily sighed but handed Amelia over to me.
"If you want to talk or anything..." Emily said.
I nodded.
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Sovereign (Silenced Part 2)
WerewolfRylan is stubborn. So is her mate. Sometimes fate isn't enough. Sometimes fate is so strong that there is no escape. One thing is for certain though. The packs are all on edge. They can feel the whispers of war at their boarders. They NEED their k...