Maddie's Men

Maddie's Men Part 17 A Birthday Gift

Grayson put the last of Haley's gifts into his car, trying to decide when to give her his gifts. Maybe I'll wait till we get home. He thought, watching Maddie taking pictures of their friends on the monkey bars. I'll give them to her away from everyone else.

"Can you even do one chin up?" Chase was asking Haley. He pulled himself up several times, biceps bulging. "Come on, Hay. You weigh nothing. This should be easy for you."

Gray watched as Haley strained her arms, her laughter bubbling up as she struggled to pull herself up even once. He had to smile at how cute she looked, cheeks pink, muscles tight, a thin band of smooth skin peeking out beneath her shirt.

Next to her, Cal's stomach was on display too. With his fingers just barely reaching the bars far above his head, his shirt had pulled up and a thick roll of fat was spilling out, pink stretch marks visible on pale skin.
"Seriously, you weigh like five pounds, Haley." Chase observed, putting his hands on her waist to help her. "How can you not lift five pounds?"

Haley dropped to the ground, laughing. "Chin ups are hard to do." She protested.
"No, they're not." Chase disagreed, his hands still on her naked skin. "Even Elliot can do pull ups." Their youngest brother made a face at him. "And you know how weak he is."

Haley rolled her eyes and Chase lifted her up to the bars again. "I can't—" With what looked like enormous effort the tiny redhead lifted herself up, just barely getting her head to the level of the bar before dropping.
"See?" Chase asked, looking pleased with himself.

Haley just shook her head, catching her breath as Chase pulled himself up five more times. "Soon we'll have you doing them one handed like Grayson."
Haley looked at Gray with her big blue eyes. "Can you really do them one handed?"
Gray shrugged, not wanting to talk about himself.

Haley smiled and then turned to Chase. "Lift me up again."
When Chase lifted her up Haley lifted her legs above her head and then flipped them behind her, lowering them until she was almost vertical again, but now with her arms contorted at the shoulders.

She pulled herself back up and over again, smiling. "Can you do that?" She challenged Chase, still hanging from the bars.
Chase shook his head and then turned, grabbing Haley up in a piggy back. "No one can do that, Haley." He told her, shifting her up higher on his back. "Normal people can't move their arms like that."

"I'm normal!" Haley protested, laughing. Her eyes lit on Gray again and her smile widened. "I like being able to look in everyone's eye." She observed. "I like this perspective."
"This is normal." Chase insisted, grinning as he came closer to Gray. "Normal people see the world from this perspective."

Gray smiled. He doubted he had a 'normal' perspective on the world, but it was nice to see his roommate at eye level.
"Okay, well, we are headed to Cal's." Maddie said, tugging her boyfriend's shirt down over his swollen belly before coming closer to Chase. "Put Haley down so I can hug her goodbye."

"There is no down." Chase joked, smiling at their little sister. "Haley and I are one now." He leaned down closer to Maddie's level. "Hug her from here."
Maddie laughed and wrapped her arms around Haley and Chase's necks.
"Your brother is a weirdo." Haley observed, laughing as she wrapped her arms around Chase and Maddie's necks.

"I told you. I'm normal." Chase joked, grabbing Maddie and lifting her up in a hug with Haley still on his back.
The three of them were laughing as Chase almost lost his balance, dropping both girls as he staggered sideways on the sand. "Oops, sorry."

"You're the worst." Haley told him, but Gray could see how much Chase amused her.
I can't do that. He thought, watching her make a face at Chase, her eyes dancing with laughter. I wish I could be as relaxed and confident as Chase is. I wish I could joke around with people and have fun.

Gray watched as Haley playfully swatted Chase's chest before turning her blue eyes on Gray. "Are you ready to go home?"
Grayson nodded. At least I have that, he thought, watching her say her goodbyes. At least I get to be her roommate. He smiled. And I'm getting more relaxed around her.

Gray wasn't sure if it was just getting to know the tiny redhead better, or if it was the little things they were doing go help ease his anxiety, but it was a lot easier to be around her lately. He even let her touch him on occasion. When she touched him, his heart beat a lot faster, but it wasn't the same way it best faster when he was anxious. It was a nice feeling.

Maybe I'm not falling for her. Grayson thought, watching the way the sun caught on her hair. Maybe I'm just grateful she's helping me with my anxiety.
He wasn't sure if that was true, but she really was helping him. They'd cut back on caffeine and alcohol, and they were making sure he got enough sleep. She'd taught him some breathing exercises that helped, and she'd even convinced him to do yoga. Twice.

But even as Gray's anxiety went down, his self esteem hadn't gone up. When he looked at the redhead he couldn't help but think she could o better than him.
And that thought never seemed to go away.

*

"I had a good day." Haley sighed, collapsing on the couch next to Grayson.
He smiled at her. It was nice that a few small gifts and some ice cream were all it took to make his roommate happy.
"I hope I don't get a blister from the bars though." She said, looking at her outstretched hands.

"You might." Gray observed, looking at her smooth, perfect hands. "Your skin is really-" He broke off, shrugging.
"My skin is really what?" She asked, looking at him quizzically.

"I don't know." Gray admitted, feeling embarrassed. "I mean, my hands are—" He held out one huge hand, palm up. They weren't particularly rough or calloused, but years of sports and work had made them strong.

To his surprise, Haley ran her fingers over his palm. "It isn't rough." She pointed out. She smiled and pressed her palm to his. "It's a little bigger than mine though."
Gray laughed at the understatement, folding his fingers down so they enveloped hers. "A little." He agreed, feeling his heart beat a little faster.

Haley slipped her fingers between his and then looked at him, smiling. "You're doing a lot better with your anxiety." She observed. She unlaced her fingers from his, but instead of letting go, she took his oversized hand in between both of hers. "What was your favourite birthday?"

She was facing him now, her eyes on his hand as her thumbs rubbed patterns in his palm. "I think... when I was ten." He answered, watching her small hands on his giant one. "We didn't do anything special, but—" He shrugged, trying to think of a way to convey how he'd felt so long ago. "We went to a park, and had a picnic, and went on the equipment."

Gray felt Haley's eyes on his face, but he kept his gaze on her hands still rubbing his. "My mom was still healthy back then, and it—I felt like my life would always be like that. Happy. Safe."
He felt a twinge in his stomach as he said those words. It was unfair. It was unfair that he'd lost his mom, but it was even worse that Haley had never had that. Never had a family, never felt safe.

"Was that your last birthday before your mom got sick?" Haley asked, her small hands squeezing his huge one.
Gray nodded. He swallowed hard. "She got diagnosed right before my eleventh birthday."

"That must have been hard." Gray met her eyes for a split second before looking back to their hands.
"Yeah, I mean, I know some people have it worse." He said, feeling a strange guilt at missing his mom. "I know I'm lucky that I got her for fourteen years, even if she was sick for three of them, but--"

Haley was shaking her head. "Your grief doesn't hurt less just because other people experienced different kinds of loss." She insisted. She paused for a long time, her hands warm on his. "I know my situation isn't ideal, but it's not the same as your loss. I know how much you love your mom, so losing her must have been devastating." She paused again. "I didn't lose my mom, she gave me up, so I don't need to grieve for her."

Grayson frowned because he wasn't sure if that was true. Haley's loss was just a different type of grief. "I got you a present." He said, needing to see her smile again.
"You didn't have to get me a gift." Haley protested. "You let me live her insanely cheaply."

"You're a good roommate." Gray told her, wishing he were brave enough to say how he really felt. He didn't want to let go of her hands, but he did so he could get the small, neatly wrapped gift. He sat down next to her as close as he could, and held out his gift. He'd gotten Elliot to wrap it for him, but he'd written the card himself, his writing as neat as he could make it.

Haley held up the flat rectangle up to her ear as if she were trying to hear it. "It doesn't sound like a monkey." She observed, smiling. "And it's too light to be an elephant."
Gray watched as she peeled back the tape and opened the gift neatly, her fingers having all of the dexterity that he lacked.

Finally she opened the box and she smiled, laughing as she picked up the jersey. "A number 49 just for me!" She said, hugging the fabric to her chest. She pulled it on over her shirt and smiled. "Was this just to get me to stop wearing yours?" She asked playfully.
Gray smiled. "No. You can wear it whenever you want. It looks better on you anyway." He smiled shyly at her. "It's your lucky number."

Haley beamed. "Our lucky number." She reminded him. Gray liked the sound of 'our'. "I love this." She told him, hugging her arms around her own body.
And then she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you for my favourite birthday." She said, and as she leaned out of the hug she paused and Gray's breath caught in his throat as she kissed his cheek, right near her mouth.

"I--I'm glad you had a good day." Gray told her when he caught his breath. "I have one more thing for you, but I'm not sure what you'll think about it."
Haley's eyes lit up, but her pride made her shake her head. "You've already done so much for me, Gray." She protested. "You shouldn't get me anything."
Gray shrugged, nervous. "It didn't cost me anything." He told her. "I just--it's not really a gift, but... I think you'll like it."

Gray stood up and, looking down at his roommate he forced himself to hold out his hand. "You have to come with me." He told her, feeling her slim hand slide into his.
As she stood up, hand in his, Haley put her free hand on his arm and smiled up at him. "Well, now I'm intrigued."
Gray smiled at her, feeling warmth radiating from her touch. I just hope you're happy. He thought as he led her through the house. I just hope you're not mad at me after this.