Unreachable Zacharius

21

Chapter 21

Sinundan ko siya ng tingin hanggang sa magsara ang frosted glass door sa pagitan namin. Bumuntung-hininga ako at binuhay muli ang shower upang ituloy ang naudlot na gawain. Kapag umaliwalas ang panahon, papasyal ako sa lupain. I will ask Jude to tour me around like usual.

I crouched and picked up the soap on the marbled floor. Sinimulan kong muli ang paglilinis sa katawan. I glanced at the large bathtub and sighed. May balak pa sana akong magbabad doon.

Isinuot ko ang ternong undergarments nang matapos bago isinunod ang roba. I tied it and was about to open the frosted glass when I stopped.

"Achoo!" I sneezed and rubbed my nose with my fingers.

Isang bahing ang gusto pang kumawala ngunit pinigilan ko iyon. It feels awful! Dapat pala hindi ko na lang pinigilan. Naluluha tuloy ako at biglang sumakit ang ulo dahil sa bahing na hindi natuloy.

Wala sa sariling lumabas ako ng banyo. I walked towards the bed and sat down on its edge. I stared at my wet and bare foot. Nakalimutan kong suotin ang tsinelas. Ngumuso ako at marahang pinisil ang aking ilong. It's cold in Manila, but I didn't know it was colder in Zambales.

God, I hope I won't run a fever.

"What are you still doing there?" My husband's stern voice almost made me jump.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya. He's now wearing a black shirt and a boxers. He was lazily sitting on the table and he's almost done with his stake. His eyebrows were in a knot. Sa itsura niya, mukhang hindi pa siya kumakalma sa himutok kanina. Suminghap ako. Mabilis akong tumayo at dumeretso sa dresser.

Nilingon ko siya at nadatnan ang mariin niyang tingin sa akin.

"M-Magsusuklay lang ako tapos magpapalit," sabi ko habang dinadampot ang suklay. I glanced at him and down on his plate. "y-you can, uh, finish your food. Mamaya na lang ako."

Kaagad akong nag-iwas ng tingin at binilisan na ang pagsusuklay. Pagkatapos doon ay pumasok na ako sa closet para magpalit. Kalahati lang ang damit niya sa closet. Sa condo, halos puno iyon. White silky spaghetti strap top at ang katerno nitong shorts ang napili ko dahil nasa pinakaloob pa ang mga pyjamas.

Lumabas ako at pinasadahan pa ng tingin ang sarili sa salamin. When I was already contented, I immediately hovered towards the table to join him. Umupo ako sa silya sa harap niya nang hindi siya tinitignan.

"What did mom tell you? Pupunta ba siya... mamayang dinner?" I asked while I tried to look anywhere but him.

Hindi pa man nagsisimulang kumain ay napainom na ako sa nakahandang orange juice. I wandered my eyes on the table and looked for the cheesecake that I ordered. Wala pa iyon doon. They are probably still baking it.

"Yes. With your dad." He said it with his usual terse voice.

I glanced at him. Tumikhim ako at marahang tumango. Nilagyan ko ng stake ang aking pinggan at nagsimula ng kumain. The room was silent. I don't want to trigger him with my words so I remained tape-mouthed the whole time. Ibinaling ko na lang ang buong atensyon na pagkain.

Dahan-dahn ang ginawa kong pagnguya. God knows how much I want to open up about his plan. How much I want to disagree with it. How much I want these negative feelings to get off my chest. Gusto kong sabihin sa kaniya na ayaw ko. Na hindi ko kaya. Na hindi pa ako handa. O kailanman... hindi ako magiging handa.

But who am I to complain? Here is the man that I loved..
who was forced to marry me. I forced him into this pragmatic marriage. Now that he's decided to let go and to free himself from me, do I have the right to stop him?