Unreachable Zacharius

34

Chapter 34

Zach wasn't lying when he said I was a pain in the ass. Sa dami ng nagsabi noon, hindi na ako magtatakang iyon rin ang tingin niya sa akin. I have to admit it myself, too. Totoong matigas ang ulo ko noon. Kilala ako bilang ang nag-iisa at isang pilyang anak nina mommy at daddy. Iyon ang tingin sa akin ng lahat.

I was indeed a pain in the ass. No... I have always been a pain in the ass.

Wala sa itsura ko ang pagiging konserbatibo. No wonder why people always thought I was maldita and all that. No wonder why Zach seemed to never liked me. When I started liking him, I was very aggressive. Very, very aggressive. Naalala ko pa noong nasa bar kami, ang lakas ng loob kong isigaw sa mukha niya na gustung-gusto ko siya. I wasn't even a bit embarrassed about it.

The most embarrassing memory was when i've learned from tita Leandra that Zach moved out from their mansion and my dumb teenager self acted impulsively, asking mommy if I could transfer from any school in Manila. Para lang mapalapit ako kay Zach. Of course, they didn't approve of it. Pero dahil na rin sa pangungulit ko, they bought a condominium in Manila as my 18th birthday gift.

Fortunately, mom and dad decided to enrol me on a University in Manila pagtuntong ko ng college. I've decided to take Business Ad together with Ethan even though I wanted so bad to pursue modeling. It brought me so much stress. Probably one of the reasons why I rebelled from my parents.

"I like you!" I yelled at a very angry Zacharius.

Almost twelve, I stood in front of him, dressed in a mini dress and a bit tipsy. Being exposed to this side of life... it's liberating. I was just eighteen years old then. Just eighteen years old. He was almost twenty six. He was looking at me with pure rage in his eyes. Para akong natuklaw ng ahas.

"You have the guts to say that after I caught you kissing another boy, huh? Are you fucking kidding me?" He growled sarcastically.

Tandang-tanda ko kung gaano ako natakot sa reaksyon niya noon. Takot ako sa impresyon niya sa akin. Yes, I kissed one of my friends. Nasa bar ako at nakikipagsiyahan, halos nagpapakita ng kaluluwa, at nakainom! Ano na lang ang iisipin niya sa akin?

"I-It's not what you think it is—"

Natigilan ako nang makita ang paraan ang paghagod ng mga mata niya sa kabuuan ko. Nanliit ako. Magkaibang-magkaiba kami ng ipinunta. He was there for business, I was there to party like a wild animal. I behaved like a mad woman, dancing with just about any man out there.

"I just want to have fun!" halos maiyak ako maintindihan niya lang.

"You are just eighteen," he breathed whilst staring deeply at me.

I remember how worried I was that night. Naiiyak, lumapit ako sa kanya at halos hindi alam ang sasabihin. Hindi unang beses na nangyari iyon. Noong una ay sa Zambales pa at underage pa ako noon. It was probably peers that pushed me to do unadulterated things at a very young age. Nahuli niya rin ako noon kasama ang mga kaibigan.

"I'm sorry! We were just having fun and i-it's Melody's debut s-so... uh..." hindi ko masalubong ang tingin niya.

"Bullshit. Go home. Now." He demanded with rage dripping on his voice.

I have been so bold in front of him but I couldn't seem to joke around that night. Siyempre, dahil ayokong lalong magalit siya sa akin ay masunurin akong tumango. If it was my cousins that saw me, I would've ignored them and not care. But Zach was a different story. Sa sobrang pagkagusto ko sa kanya ay natatakot na akong gumawa ng mga bagay na ayaw niya.