chapter twelve - pressure

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"I can't believe you're in Tokyo and I'm not there with you

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"I can't believe you're in Tokyo and I'm not there with you." James groans, running a hand down his visibly tired face which I can see through face-time.

"I know, it sucks, man. I told you to just blow off that last exam and then you could've come with me." I shrug, frowning.

"And that is why you are not studying medicine," James laughs. "It was a final exam, I cannot fail it nor miss it."

"Uh-hu, sure. But I can walk outside right now and go everywhere that you've fawned over for two years." I grin, deliberately pressing on his buttons.

"Stop. You're just being cruel." James laughs, shaking his head. "Anyway, how is it there? Where have you visited?" He asks.

"Set." I answer honestly.

"That's it? Shameful, Williams." James shakes his head. "Why haven't you been out?"

"Because they're trying to make the most of the whole cast being together so they're shooting as many scenes as possible. I've been up at five am every morning for the past week."

"Damn, you struggling?"

More than he knew.

My job was amazing and I was fortunate, yes. But five am for a week did not make me feel fortunate, nor did dealing with the paparazzi whenever I took a step away from a security guard. My days have been filled takes, re-takes and more shoots. Photoshoots seem to happen non-stop and I swear I can still hear the camera clicking when I shut my eyes.

So, the pressure is mounting. Like a volcano about to erupt, my emotions are bubbling underneath the surface and I feel like I'm about to explode. I'm watching myself go head first into a car-crash yet I can't push on the brakes.

But, James has got other things to worry about. So do I, after all, I've got a whole series to film. One that once it's done I'll be able to go public with the woman who has not left my mind for the whole seven moths we've been together.

"Yeah, I'm managing. All part of the job, isn't it." I shrug, smiling at James.

His phone begins ringing on the other side and I see him smile at his screen. Wanting to interrogate him about this later, I push my own needs to the side. "You gotta go? Don't worry, I gotta head too."

"Yeah, um...Okay, cool. Talk later?" He asks.

"Yep, have a nice phone call." I smirk before hitting the end call.

Silence consumes the room and I fall back onto my bed, sighing when I hit the soft mattress. I embrace the quiet with every fiber of my being.

We finally ended early today and the late afternoon sun shines through my window. I clench my hand into a fist to suppress my urge but give up when the longing in my body makes me reach for my phone.

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