sugar baby [h.s]

eleven

I'm exhausted by the time John drops me off back at my place, even though it's only 9:30. What a whirlwind day. At the beginning I thought I was destined to spend the next six months in hell with this man, and now I'm sad I won't see him for a week.

I lock myself into my apartment for the night and look down, remembering all of the clothes I have to unpack. I decide that it's a problem to deal with tomorrow, I have early morning classes tomorrow and in order to unpack everything I would need to get rid of a lot of my stuff. Perhaps I can carrel Heather into helping me sort through my clothes, she will know a lot more than I will about what sort of things I could still wear out of my own clothes to go with this new life of mine.

I wash my face quickly and climb into bed after having got all my things ready for class tomorrow. The second I'm in the confines of my bed and the lights flicker out, my thoughts turn to him. What had gotten into me tonight? I have never so willingly climbed into a mans lap before, or anyone's for that matter. I had only had two glasses of wine by that point so it wasn't that.

Just a few short days ago I had decided that he was a disgusting pig who just wanted to take my virginity and drag me around London as his eye candy. Now look at me, half wishing that I had taken him up on his offer and stayed with him tonight. Of course, I'm not ready to have sex with him or anything like that, are am I? When he kisses me I can barely string a coherent thought together, it took every brain cell I had working overtime to mumble as excuse as to why I couldn't stay. He says he wants something more than what he's used to; now I'm not exactly sure what that entails but I don't think he really does either. I have no idea the kinds of relationships he has had before me and there's something inside of me telling me to not open that box.

Perhaps this could resemble an actual real relationship, and I can stop feeling so cheap and whorish whenever I see him. The thoughts of him kissing my neck make me dizzy despite my reclined position, heart racing as I replay it in my head behind my closed eyes. If this did mirror a normal relationship then these are the typical feelings you have, right? There's that brief first period of time where everything's smooth sailing and you're just getting to know each other and spending time together. There isn't any pressure to take anything farther, not unless we both want to.

I won't see him for a week now and after the great talks we had today there is a part of time that's wishing he didn't have to go. But an even larger part of me knows that a week without Harry could actually prove to be quite productive. I fall asleep as I list off all the things I need to do in my head.

"No, you can't wear those out with Harry" Heather tells me pointedly as I hold up a pair of white wash jeans with rips in the knees. They are my favourite pair, surprisingly comfortable and they go with nearly half of my wardrobe.

"Well I'm not with him all the time so they're my day off jeans. I'm keeping them" I sound like a sullen child as I place the jeans on the 'yes' pile. We've made quite a bit of progress; I have a lot more closet space and nearly a full black trash bag of clothes to donate to charity. Despite the half empty closet, heather insists that we go through all of my items as she thinks I will probably acquire a lot more clothes in the future.

"Honey the minute your name is in the society papers there will be no days off, those jeans are not hotel heiress appropriate. And neither are these pants" I pause my actions, clothes and hanger in hand.

"Wait wait wait, society pages?"

She grins widely. "Harry is one of the wealthiest men in London, he's in the society pages all the time and no doubt you will make your debut soon. You're young and pretty so there will most likely be photographer when you go out in public. You'll get used to it"