No Control (Chris Motionless)

Chapter 36 - The Reason

I found myself hesitating at the entrance of the hospital.

"Come on, Amber. The food will get cold if we don't get up there soon." Blake urges before stepping through the sliding glass doors.

Part of me appreciated that he didn't make a big deal about this, that he acted more concerned with delivering the food to our friends than with anything else. On the other hand, I wanted to just shove the bags I was holding into his hands and take off down the street without sparing even a glance back. 

In the end, I followed Blake back into the sterile building, feeling unsure of what was about to happen. I knew that I couldn't hide away though, not as he had. Curiosity then struck me, how had he found out where Cody was being kept? I knew that the news had reported on Cody's attack, but they hadn't mentioned which hospital he had been taken to. 

The elevator ride back up to the room was filled with my silent wondering and confusion. After the assault on my friend, I felt leery of almost everyone around me that wasn't the four people I've known for most of my life. Every other person felt like a threat right then, that meant it still included Chris.

I tried my best not to display that I was on edge when we finally made it back and of course, the first pair of eyes I met had to be Chris's. 

I gave him a tight lip smile before turning to the others, "We brought back Thai." 

"Please tell me you got something with red curry?" Cody says and I can tell it's just to break that sudden moment of tension that came over the room. 

I gave a small laugh, "Of course I did, I'm not a monster." 

"No, you're a saint."

"So, how did you manage to get here?" I questioned Chris in the most nonchalant way I could as I sat down the bags of takeout on the window sill.

"He texted me right after the news report was broadcasted and I told him where we were," Mackenzie answered for him.

I felt a small pang in my chest that he went to her for his questions instead of me. I brushed those feelings to the back of my mind and set about handing out the containers of takeout. It felt strange to blatantly avoid him, but I told myself that it was better to give him space. 

I ended up sitting back in the small chair again, perching my food on my lap, focusing on it to what was probably an odd degree. I began wishing that he hadn't bothered to stay as long as he had or that he would at least speak to me. 

I kept up with the small talk just so I didn't seem too out of place, but we never truly spoke to each other. It was a struggle to make it not look like it bothered me, even though I felt ridiculous doing so. A piece of me wanted to just say 'fuck it' and ask him if he was still mad at me, but I had no clue how to even start that conversation. I wasn't particularly fond of the idea of him turning away from me again. I resisted the secret urge to smack myself out of this state of mind because I hated it so much. 

Instead, I rose from my seat to throw out my nearly empty takeout container. I headed for the door, halfhearted calling behind me that I was going to go find a vending machine that had gum. I told myself that I just needed to take a small walk to clear my head and that I would hopefully escape the state of mind I was in along the way.

It felt as if someone had released their grip on my throat when the door shut behind me, separating me from the others. My unease didn't fully leave me alone though as I walked down the glaringly white hallway, worrying that something might pop out of one of the many rooms on either side of me. Despite my nerves, I took my time heading off to search for a vending machine, telling myself that I might get lucky and Chris could be gone by the time I got back.