Josephine's POV
He stares at me not saying a word. I shift in my seat waiting for him to speak, I don't know what to say. His eyes are an ocean blue colour under the bright light hind above us. I sigh as he intertwines his fingers.
"I'm not sorry." He mumbles. "Not sorry for what?" I ask him, genuinely confused. He shakes his head and drops it slightly. He runs his shaky fingers through his messy hair, it isn't gelled and he isn't wearing a hat for once. Another nervous habit he has. "Hero?" I say his name to try and hopefully bring him back to reality, dragging him from the thoughts deep inside his mind.
"Why do you like to fuck with me so much?" He mutters under his breath. My mind is full of so many questions, how have I been 'fucking' with him. I'm about to speak before he raises his hand and cuts me off. "I thought things between us was just getting better again." He waves his hand between me and him.
"I saw the messages between you and Darren..." he trails off while putting his face into his hands. Okay? I don't understand what he is talking about. Me and Darren have had maybe one if that conversation over message so I don't understand what the big deal is. "Hero what are you even on about?" I ask him wanting to get straight to the point.
"He called you beautiful and asked if you would go to dinner with him. I thought that we was sorting things out, things felt almost normal again between us. You never told me that you had a thing with him." He rushes out the words like they are burning his tongue. I feel my heart warm up at the fact that he kind of just admitted that he still likes me and thought that we could go back to normal again. I want to jump on him and smother him with kisses but I know that would be wrong to do, right now at least.
When he looks up at me I can't help the emotions that flood through my body. His eyes are bloodshot and his pupils are dilated. He looks so vulnerable and I can't stop myself from flinging myself around him, he doesn't react straight away but when he does he wraps his arms around me tightly. He's been working out and is a lot bigger than he was last year.
"I'm so sorry Hero. For everything." I push my face deeper into him and inhale deeply.
"Me too." I want to tell him that he has nothing to be sorry for but I'm too selfish so I carry on hugging him instead of comforting his frantic mind. "I went on your phone and blocked Darren's number." He whispers into my shoulder, I barley hear him. I think that's why he said it so quietly. I pull away for a second to look at him, he's clearly guilty. The vulnerability in his eyes makes me unable to be angry at him.
I push back the hair that was flopping onto his forehead and move my hand down to his jaw. I stroke his cheek to try and calm him. He leans into my touch and i smile at him. We sit in silence staring into one another's eyes. I want to kiss him, I want to do all the things that I'm not meant to do. How am I meant to keep away from him if this is how things have gone just a week of being together again?
"We can't stay away from eachother." He breathes out heavily.
"We have to." I tell him, I'm not wrong. We both know that once filming is done we will go through the same thing we did last time and I don't think neither of us are ready for that again. I was physically sick for weeks afterwards and I couldn't sleep for days, once I got past the period of not being able to sleep all I could do was sleep. It was a sort of get away from the pain that I inflicted on him.
"If you want us to keep strictly on work then leave right now. We will only talk on set and every now and again at dinners." His voice is wobbly as he speaks. I'm trying to take in what he's saying but it's difficult to. I can't just decide right now.
If I stay it will change everything, where would we start off? Friends and keep it like that? A relationship? I have so many questions but the way that he is no longer looking at me but at the door makes me think he isn't going to discuss this.
"Hero..." I have so much to stay but again, he cuts me off. "No Josephine. If you don't want that, then stay. We can work on things and maybe go back to how we was." He takes his hands of my waist and I instantly feel less stable.
"But if you don't leave. You can't leave me after this. We could do the long distance shit or whatever. You know we could, your just too scared to try it." He tells me, I know that he's right. If I do this I want to go slow, I don't want to jump into things like we did last time. But I can't do this, I need to leave and not look back. Shut the door and not look into his eyes ever again.
I look back at the door that's welcoming me with open arms.
"So Josephine." He leans back on one hand, clearly giving me room to easily get off him. "Decide, now." His voice is deep and it pains me to hear how stern and serious he sounds. It's so unlike him and I made him like this. I'll forever hate myself for that.
I move a bit so I can get of him but I make the mistake of looking into his eyes and everything from the past year replays in my mind, the memories, fights, love. Something inside of me is forcing me to stay here, on top of him. I feel like I don't have a choice right now.
I open my mouth to say something, I don't know what but something, anything. But before I can get the words out he lifted his hand and pulled me into him, the second that our lips touch I feel everything is going to go to plan. I wrap my hand around his neck and kissed him harder. His hands moved into my hair and made a make shift ponytail, his lips connected to my neck and I tilt my head back so he has more room.
He pulls away briefly and puts his forehead against mine. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest and I feel safe, happy even.
