Eternally yours(Sequel to 'Will you my saviour?')

Chapter 9- It's him

"Your husband, Andrew Dennis Biersack, has committed suicide. We're sorry."

Those words ring over and over in my head. Like a curse that I can't get rid of, the confusion overwhelms my head. Andy's not dead. He didn't kill himself. He's strong! He'll fight!

"He's, he's not not d-dead," I reply, trying to stop my lips from quivering and holding back tears as I fight to say the words.

CC and Anna appear next to me, but I move away from them as they try to touch me. CC moves closer, but I push him away.

"He's not dead CC!" I shout. CC says something, but I press my hands to my ears, blocking his words from making its way into my shattered ears. My shattered soul. Everything is shattered. I am shattered.

This time my tears stream from my face, into the puddle of tears on the ground. I will not accept this. They don't know Andy like I do. I know he's not dead.

When CC takes my hands away from my ears he screams at me , "Andy is dead Ashley! Dead! As dead as can be!"

"CC!" Anna shames.

My heart pounds like never before, its pace increasing the more I cry. I fall to the ground as everything darkens right in front of me.

***
I find myself in my bedroom as my eyes open. The guys are all scattered about the room and all move closer when they realize that my eyes have opened. Groaning, I sit up and finally open my mouth.

"What do you guys want?"

Jinxx sighs and sits down next to me on the bed. "Look Ash, it's okay to cry. We all cried when we found out that Andy had commi-, that Andy had passed. It's hard for everyone. "

"Yeah and we want to be here for you," Jake adds.

Closing my eyes I try to think of what to say, but words battle to make their way into my mind. There's nothing to say. Nothing I say will bring Andy back. Nothing. So I remain silent and nod instead. Andy is dead and I have to accept that. But it's not easy.

CC leaves the room and when he returns he hands me a cup of hot chocolate. Andy's favourite drink.

"Here you go," he says but I give it back to him.

"I don't want it," I reply heartbroken and irritated at the same time. Does CC not know that this is Andy's favourite drink?

"You have to eat or drink something!"

"Why?"

"For your own good Ash."

"Fine. Hand me the cup."

CC hands me the cup and once I take it I throw it against the wall on the other side of the room and jump out of bed. "You see that cup?" I snap, that is me right now! I cannot be fixed! Nothing will make me feel better! And don't fucking try to change my mind!" I scream as I storm out of the room. I rush down the stairs and find Anna, Inna and Alice talking downstairs. When they lay their eyes on me they stop their conversation.

"Ashley-"

"I don't want to hear it!" I scream and walk out of the house.

Once I step out of the house, I breathe in the ice cold air while almost being thrusted onto the ground by the forceful wind. But that's the least of my problems right now. I scream into the sky, hoping it would make me feel better. Hoping it would somehow bring Andy back. He would appear, tell me to stop screaming and that it's all just a dream. That he's right here and that he loves me. But that doesn't happen. He doesn't appear out of nowhere and tell me all the words I needed to hear before he killed himself. He's gone. Forever this time.
With my knees shaking I finally make my way back inside the house and find that CC was just about to rush out of the house to look for me.