Nightmares(Complete)

Chapter 12

Hello dear readers! I'm here to tell you that this chapter is the start of a lot of things in the tags. Knife play, needle play and alot of sadistic and tourcer. Please proceed with caution. I hope you enjoy and don't forget to vote.

Rylan's pov

I stare at Izumi and the holdall. He didn't have the smug grin he usually does instead he wore his face in an almost unreadable expression, except for the look of lust in his eyes. I shrink back as far as I could into the wall. As he approached me his eyes seemed to glint with satisfaction.

I was curled in a ball in the corner. My face staring him in the eyes. "Knees. Now slut." His voice steady and demanding. I don't move. My body to scared to do so. He sighs, his voice softer now. "Come here Rylan." As he speaks I see his hand on the holdall tighten. I slowly stand up and walk up to him. I was starting at the ground the whole time. Scared. I stop right in front of him. He places the holdall down. With one of his hands, he gently lifts my head up. I keep my eyes averted.

"I'm going to be more gentle on you then on my other, older pets. Not only are you younger than them but also you are a little, but just because I'm going to be gentler on you that doesn't mean I'm not going to use you for my pleaser." As he specks him sits me down on the floor opening his holdall taking out light blue soft fluffy handcuffs. He takes my hands and puts the handcuffs on my wrists. All the while I was silent. I slowly stand up with him holding the bicep part of my arm. he walks over to my bed, me trailing behind him.

"Lie down on your stomach and close your eyes." I slowly lay down, scared of what he will do to me. I hear him re-open his holdall and take something out. I was trembling in fear. When he walks over. he leans down beside my ear and whispers. "It's going to hurt, but don't scream." He whispers. I feel him tie my legs to the end of the bed and then tie the handcuffs to the bed bored. I buried my head into my pillow.

Suddenly something sharp slide across my back. To be honest, I barely felt it. I was in such a depressive state that if I was back in my dorm I would have cuts over my wrist and tights and a knife on the floor beside me. After the first few cuts Master leans down to my ear whispering that I was a good boy and that I was doing very well.

He continues to cut my back. Small cuts and big cuts, but all I felt was the numb feeling in my chest go away with each cut he made in my pale skin.

He stops, telling me to open my eyes. I open them slowly and see him put a knife back in his holdall. He takes out some medical supplies, like bandages and anti-infection and some scissors to cut the rope that tied my legs and the handcuffs to the bed. He picks me up and cleans the wounds and bandages around my back and stomach.

"You are a good boy. You didn't scream once! That's good." He mutters to me.

"Rylan! What happened? I lost contact with you!" Samuel asked. I couldn't answer him. My voice lost. I clucked to my left ear. The throbbing had come back. I was alone. Jin probably wasn't looking for me. No one cares anyway. "Samuel ... I'm scared. I don't know what's happing. Izumi's only goal is for me to break. I don't want to. I want to be back with Jin. I don't like it here."

I curled into a ball. My arms wrapped around the gaping hole that use to hold my heart and my hope. Maybe I should just give in,maybe I should let him use me. It was useless fight anyway. Right?

Jin was the  only thing holding me together when everything around me was falling apart. I don't know if he ever knew how much I relied on him. Every day in school he would be on my mind. I prayed every night that he wouldn't leave me. That he would stay.

But I guess god doesn't exist. If he did he wouldn't treat me like this. Wasn't he meant to love and perfect everyone? Forgive our sins?

What a joke. Just like my life before this. It was a joke and this is the punch line.

I try and hold in my tears. Attempting to be strong. My head started pounding sharply at my attempts to not cry. I scream as tears start streaming down my face. I was alone. Completely and utterly alone. My mind falling to pieces. I couldn't even hear Samuel.

Then it hit me. I couldn't hear Samuel.  I yell for him. My voice eventually going horse from yelling his name. My throat felt as if fire had been poured down it.

All I want was to be with Jin. To be a small child again. Forget about my worries.

I started to sing a song that I had sung when ever I was in a depressive suicidal state as a teen.

"I-Im scared to l-ive but I'm scared to d-d-die. And if life is p-pain then I b-b-buried mine a l-long time ago. But it's still alive. And it's taking o-ver me where am I?I wa-nna feel som-ething, I'm numb inside. But I don't feel nothing, I won-der why. I'm in the race of life and time passed by. Look, I sit back and I watch it.Ha-nds in my p-ockets. W-aves come cras-hing over me but I just watch 'em. I just watch 'em. I'm und-erwater but I feel like I'm on top of it. I'm at the bottom and I don't know what the problem is. I'm in a box. But I'm t-he one who locked me in. Suffocating and I'm ru-nning out of oxygen"

My voice echoed through the walls. My crying subsides into quiet sobs. Though the song was depressing it always made me feel better. Music that I had forgotten about.

I felt like I was fading into the darkness. Hope all gone. Even Samuel,who had promised me that he wouldn't leave, left. Or maybe he was a figment of my imagination. Me trying to stay sane. But I guess Jin was the only one who could keep me sane.