Should Have Known Better

Gifted

**Sang**

The next morning I woke to the sound of the shower running. For a minute I forgot where I was. I snuggled back into bed waiting for my honey to come back out.

 Then I remembered. Remembering really stinks. Scott seems nice enough, but he isn't any of my guys. I miss my guys. I don't know how to stop thinking of them as mine. I hear the shower turn off and shower curtain sliding along the bar. I know Scott will be out soon and I should find clothes to wear today. 

I slowly make my way out of bed, stretching each joint as I stand. 

“Good morning Sang!” Scott chimes from the bathroom doorway.

“Good morning.” I yawn back. 

“We still have some time before breakfast if you want to unpack.” He says as he drags his bags to his dresser. 

I nod and wheel my bag over to my side. 

I start pulling clothes out, deciding what needs to hang and what needs to be folded. I work at layer at a time. Obviously, Gabe has taken his time putting this together. I reach the next layer and realize there is a row of shirts in all my guy's colors rolled up side by side. Silent tears start to ease their way down my face. 

I take the first shirt, green and feel something hard and square in it.  I unroll the shirt and Kota's Rubik's cube comes tumbling out onto the floor. I pick it up and hold it to my chest. This isn't a new one, it's his. It's the one he's solved hundreds of times. His fingers have caressed these small squares before I even knew him. I put the cube in my lap and pull out the white shirt. As I unroll it a thumb drive falls in my lap next to the cube. I will have to check it out later. Next, the orange shirt, as I unroll it nothing falls out at first. Then I feel it.  A piece of paper is inside the shirt. I reach inside the shirt and pull out the paper. A sob I didn't mean to let out pours from me. My tears drip down onto the picture my Meanie has sent. He drew me and him together. I've been asking him forever to draw a picture of us together. Scott moves next to me and doesn't say anything, just puts a hand on my back. I take the next shirt out. Dark blue, my Superman. A little charm for a necklace falls out as I unroll the shirt. I pick it up and see the emblem for superman, it's lined with pink stones. Tears fall faster as I realize that the next shirt will be red. 

“Sang sweetie, what is wrong? What are these things?” Scott points to my lap. 
“My guys.” is all I can get out. I try to brace myself for unrolling the next one. I start unrolling it, but before I get halfway I roll it back up again and move it to the side. I unroll the light blue one. Nothing falls out.  I start to hyperventilate. I didn't expect anything from Nathan, but nothing from Luke is the worst feeling. I thought maybe he still loved me. I can pull breath in, but can't get any out.

“Why does a shirt with a cupcake and the word ‘Always and Forever’ make you so upset sweetie?” Scott asks in obvious confusion. 

I'm also confused. What is he talking about? Scott is holding up the light blue shirt. Luke has taken a marker and drawn on the shirt. I had only seen the back of the shirt. I shake my head and hold out my hand to get the shirt back from Scott. I bring it to my nose and inhale the vanilla still embedded in the shirt. I close my eyes picturing my Forever taking his time to make this. His smell brings me comfort and I'm able to calm down a little. 

“I am so fucking confused right now,” Scott mumbles from behind me. 

I have to tell him. It's not right for me to be sitting on our floor bawling my eyes out when he's trying to comfort me and he doesn't even know why.

“My guys.” I point to the shirts.

“No sweetie those are shirts.” Scott slowly says like he's explaining to a child.