10.

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Becca

Nothing has changed. My old neighborhood loomed ahead of me, not knowing what to expect at home nervousness began to set in. It was still early in the morning, more or less, my mother will probably be at home or my brother. I prepped myself for the critical looks and demeaning comments. Growing up I knew I was different, from my appearance to the way I saw the world. They saw what was right in front of them, I saw further than my block. My decision to go to Columbia University was a big deal. I studied Business and found it interesting. I have always wanted to own my own business but haven't decided what to base it on. The ridicule came when I told them so but I took it in stride.

To please my mother I took the job at The Aria as a favor to her friend. I had other plans but I took it anyway.

The cab pulled up to the doorstep of my home, I wasn't in a hurry to go up those stairs but I wanted to do this. It was ironic that I was typically confident on a daily but when it came to my family, I felt insecure, my self-esteem lowered drastically. Tipping the cabbie generously, I made my way up the stairs. I didn't know if to knock or simply walk in, I decided to go for more of a formal side. Ringing the doorbell, I waited after hearing a very grumpy voice calling out. The voice of my older sister. I took a deep breath and steadied myself for what was to come.

"Yes?" She didn't look up when she opened the door. When she did a momentary shock was seen then came the critical gaze over my attire. Her brown-eyed gaze took in the fitted distressed jeans and the white thin blouse tucked into my jeans with a pair of beige stilettos. My hair was down, honoring Sebastien's request, it did make me look spectacular. "Got fired or the big life chewed you up and spit you out?" she sneered. I kept calm and gave her a tight smile. "I came to visit. My shift has changed." I said calmly. Once again she looked me over before allowing me inside. I can hear her critique, though she hasn't voiced them. "Is mama around?" I asked making my way to the living room, gazing over the family pictures. A sad smile graced my face, my red hair and blue eyes stood out like blood on white snow. Tasha spitefully told me why I was different and blamed me for everything that happened to our family.

"She's taking a nap. She's taking another shift at the hospital."

My brows furrowed in confusion, the last they spoke she was taking only morning shifts. Why was she taking extra shifts? I was about to ask why when I notice the glare I was receiving from my sister. Uncomfortably I shifted on my feet, my grip tighter on my tote. "So.... how's Lucas?" I asked unsure if to even strike a conversation with her.

"Fine."

"And Laney?" I asked once more.

"Fine." I blinked away the burning of tears behind my eyes, remembering the last situation between us. She wouldn't let me hold my only niece. The little girl cries still tugged at me. "Why are you here?" she asked flatly leaning against the doorpost.

"I came to visit everyone. Since I'm now on the night shift. Is it wrong to come to visit my family?"

"Right! You left here when you were old enough to be on your own..."

"I left for college Tasha and you know that." I grounded out.

"The high life kept you so busy." she continued.

"I had an internship. Look I don't want to get into this circle of argument. It's the same thing over and over." I grumbled making my way out of the living room, preparing to go up the stairs to my mother's room. "Where are you going?" Her hand formed a barricade at the doorway preventing me from going any further.

"To my mother. Please remove your hand, Tasha." I was getting angry that she was still so childish at the age of thirty. "It doesn't take a college degree to understand the meaning of 'she's taking a nap'" she sneered. I ignored her and ducked under her hand and rushed to the stairs. "Don't you dare go up there." Her shouts echoed through the house, I was one hundred percent sure that she woke our mother. Again I ignored her and went to the last door of the hallway. Knocking on the door, I slowly went in, the room was a bit musky with sunlight streaming in. On the large queen-sized bed, I made out the profile of my mother. Slim, her blonde hair turning gray, dark circles were below her eyes making her look daunting. Though I was treated differently by her also, the love for my mother never died. "Mama?" I crossed the bare floor my heels making the loudest noise in the room. She stirred a bit, mumbling in her sleep. I took out the envelope from my bag and gently tucked it under her arm. "See you soon mama," I said softly turning to leave.

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