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Hurt

Jimin closed the door behind him, and he was finally alone. Immediately his knees buckled, and he sat down, staring blankly at his feet.

"Yoongi?" he asked softly.

"What is it?"

"Why were you mad?"

"Because I hurt you," Yoongi said. "Because I didn't even realize. I still feel stupid-- it's not like you tried to hide it from me."

"But you hurt me again."

"I'm sorry, Jimin. There's nothing I can say."

"That's why they won't let you near me," Jimin chuckled. "Funny. I used to think I had to avoid you. I should've gone to them in the first place."

"Why don't you want me?" Yoongi asked. "I understand--what that man did, I understand it. My sister went through the same thing with her mate. But... until now, I hadn't even tried to approach you. When did you know?"

"I forgot my suppressants, once." Jimin leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. "You didn't link in, but I could smell you from across the hallway. It was-- it was overwhelming."

"Oh."

Yoongi was silent. Jimin got up, wandering into his kitchen, and sat down at the table, opening his bag.

"Why did your mother tell you to avoid me?" Yoongi asked.

Jimin sighed. "Please don't look through my mind."

"I'm trying to understand you, Jimin," Yoongi said. "But the more I see, the more you talk to me, the more confused I am. Isn't it lonely, pushing everyone away like this?"

"It's safer."

"Jimin..."

"Don't try to say it," Jimin said. "Just don't."

"Why?"

"Promises just make it worse," Jimin said. "Or weren't you paying attention? He used to promise us he would stop. I'm sick of those stupid words."

"I'll admit, I was a bit preoccupied with how he managed to ruin the best phrase on the planet."

Jimin couldn't help it. He laughed, bitterly. "You were hoping to hear it from me, weren't you?"

"Don't worry, I'll get over it. I can find other ways to show you how I feel."

Jimin was silent, but Yoongi seemed to sense his raised eyebrow.

"Miiin! Please, I swear I'm not like that bastard! Dad would've killed me years ago!"

"Min?"

"--you don't like it?"

Jimin laughed sadly. "You act like it's so easy."

"I never said it was. I'd rather be telling you these things in person."

"Hah."

"Exactly." Yoongi's heavy sigh traveled across their link, and Jimin echoed it, letting his head fall into his arms.

"Are you feeling okay?" Yoongi asked. "You're not taking your suppressants anymore. Do I still give you a headache?"

"No," Jimin said. "I'm just tired."

"Purple," Yoongi said.

"Purple?"

"That's how Taehyung does it. When Jungkook's panicking or upset, he just says 'purple', and Jungkook knows he's safe."

Jimin swallowed. "How do you know I'm safe?"

"I don't," Yoongi said. "I just... thought it might be a good replacement."

"You still want this?" Jimin whispered, voice breaking.

"Why? Should your background really push me away?"

Jimin couldn't find an answer.