It was finally the weekend and I was most definitely sleeping in all day. I was currently in Joe's condo, which was fairly nice if i do say so myself. He had brought me here after.. whatever that was last night. The boys still wouldn't tell me, so i just thought i peed all over them. It wasn't yellow though, neither did it smell bad. It was clear and smelled like strawberries! Jay and Joe said that's what it tastes like too! I kind of wanted to do it again. Standing up from the bed, i stalked down the stairs, hearing voices in near.
Once i got down there, i saw Kentrell and Joe, three females standing in the middle of the room and one on Joe's lap. A frown instantly came upon my face, continuing to where I was in view. " I— i'm going home.." i mumbled to myself, grabbing my keys from the counter and passing them up. Out the corner of my eye, i could see their bodies stiffen.
" Taymor- shit, joe." i heard Kentrell say, but i continued to ignore their calls, beginning my walk up the street. I pulled my phone from my pocket, sitting down on a near by bench and calling my uber, seeing that it was about 35 minutes away. I sighed, looking down at my feet as i waited, swaying them gently since my feet didn't touch the ground. I could here cars passing by, but one stopped in front of me, causing me to look up.
The window rolled down, revealing.. none other than Johnathan. A frown came into his face once he saw that i was upset. " Are you ok?" he asked, tilting his head. I nodded in response, looking away from him. I felt stupid, dumb, embarrassed, clueless.. all of the above. " Get in, its about to rain." he added, causing me to look up at the sky. The clouds had indeed darkened and once i felt a droplet come onto my cheek, i stood to my feet walking to the car and opening the door. I stared at him for a second before i full got in, pulling on my seat belt.
I typed my address into his GPS before got totally silent. The ride was quiet, no music playing from the radio, no one on the phone. Nothing. It wasn't uncomfortable though, it was forced. I tapped my hand onto my knee gently, staring out the window. The roads weren't recognized at first, so i made sure to already have 911 on speed dial just incase. I tend to not take negative situations into consideration, completely keeping my mind on the positive. But, hey? What can i say, i grew up in a foster system. I would rather do that anyways.
I'm used to being messed over now, so what Joe and Kentrell were doing? Didn't faze me. It was nothing new, but i can't lie and say my feelings weren't hurt. I thought they liked me, along with Bryson, Jay and Sheyya. But, i guess not. If those two were doing it, then most likely the other three were doing the same thing right now and I couldn't predict what they do.
Soon, the roads began to get familiar and Johnathan was now parked in the lot of my apartment complex. " Thank you," i said, shooting him a quick smile. Maybe i could pay him for dropping me off? This was a long ride and he probably has things to do. " Do you have cash app? This was a long ride and i don't want to ju—." he cut me off with a chuckle, shaking his head.
" It's all good mama, go inside. Get out the rain," Johnathan retorted, grabbing my hand and placing a kiss onto my knuckles. I looked at the time, seeing it was about to be 1AM. " Goodnight princess." he suddenly said, making me slightly cringe because i only liked when.. never mind.
I thanked him once more before i got out of the car, jogging over to the apartment building and going straight to my door. Pulling my keys from. t pocket, i pushed them inside the door, unlocking it and going inside. I sighed as I closed the door begins me, tears coming to my eyes. I don't know what i did wrong. I thought everything was going good between us. But, they were never mines in the first place. They didn't go around claiming me and I didn't go around claiming them.
I didn't want to cry, I didn't. But, i did. I allowed my tears to start cascading down my cheeks as I locked the door behind me, throwing my keys onto couch before I began to make my way into my room, pulling my hoodie off in the process. I quickly turned the light on in my room, jumping once I heard the sound of loud thunder. I was afraid of it, terribly. The tears began to fall harder at the loud, horrific sound and I just wanted one of the five to hold me.. well not even one, i wanted all of them to hold me and tell me everything's ok.
But, everything's not ok. They don't want to be with me and I have to learn to deal with that. I've been through so much in life and can't let this get me down. I went into the bathroom, turning on the light and stared at my appearance. Tear stained cheeks, dark circles under my eyes, hair all over my head. Horrible, I looked horrible. I grabbed some tissue, beginning to wipe the tears from my eyes. Everything was so messed up. This weekend was going to go by slowly for sure but hey.. it is what it is i guess. I have to get tougher skin and i have to stop letting people get to me.
i began to remove the rest of my clothes, leaving me in a pair of panties. I walked back into my room, grabbing an oversized shirt and pulling it over my head. I then slid into my bed, powering my phone off before I pulled the covers over me, deciding on keeping the light on. I squeezed my eyes shut once another loud roar cane from the sky, tears coming back into my eyes.
I was alone.
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y'all should go check out blubluxblannew book! she used my ship from " RIDE OUT " & tagged me in it. 💚
