Dear Camila (Camila/you)

Chapter 20

I had gone to the gym after the meeting, then to the food hall.

I had killed a few hours playing ping pong comparing myself to Forest Gump after I came out as a raining champion I had beaten every other soldier in the activities tent.

I was proud of myself.

I killed some time just walking around the tent, I knew what I was doing. I was avoiding my bunk, well more specifically the drawer next to my bunk.

I was avoiding that mobile phone, and possibly ringing her.

I hadn't blocked her, but I hadn't contacted her either.

Also, the letters were in that drawer.

Those damn letters.

They haunted my every thought.

I made my way back to my tent, I collapsed on my bed, some of the soldiers had already gone to sleep, taking my order's of being well rested literally.

I contemplated the next 24 hours. I hope I didn't lose any men, I hope everyone came back safe, that was my main goal.

No casualties.

I opened my drawer. I took out my phone, I contemplated putting it on. My finger hovered over the power button. I had communicated with Ariana and Little Mix girls yesterday, but I hadn't put it on today.

I couldn't do it, I dropped the phone back into the drawer. Before I slammed it shut the red envelope got stuck in the top of the drawer and caught my attention. I opened the drawer back up to push it back it, but they were all there starting at me.

I pulled them out. All ten of them.

I dropped them on my abdomen and rubbed my temple, I felt a headache coming on, it was probably stress.

I looked at one of the envelopes, some of the sticky part of the back had come away. I could see her writing, I could see her perfect cursive. It drew me in.

"Fuck it" I muttered and took a deep breath.

I gently opened the rest of the envelope lid, careful not to damage the letter.

I pulled it out and discarded the envelope to the side. I began to unwrap the letter and a picture fell out.

It was me and Camila at the base in Helmand Province, where we had met 4 years ago while she was performing for the troops. I stared at the photo for what felt like hours.

Camila is on my lap her legs thrown over the side of mine, her arms wrapped around my neck loosely, while mine are around her waist. Holding her, our noses were barely touching and one thing that jumped out of the photo was the size of the smiles on our faces. They were unmissable huge and bright it showed plainly the spark that we had.

The picture showed young love.

It showed the start of our love story.

After staring at the photo I brought the letter up to my face and took a deep breath. I was really going to do this.

Dear Y/N,

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had awoken early this morning, I hadn't really had a lot of sleep. I had spent the night reading Camila's letters.

I woke up feeling differently this morning, a kind of contentment that I hadn't felt in weeks. An acceptance of things.

I carried out my normal daily routine.

Washed my face.

Brushed my teeth.

Had a shower.

I was now sitting on the end of my bed shining my boots.

I always wanted to look my best.

I put on my camouflage pants and did up the belt tight. I fed my arms through the shirt and done up the buttons making sure I didn't miss any out. I placed my freshly shined boots on, but not before tucking a flick knife into my boot.

I always took precautions.

I did up the laces tight making sure they were secure.

I took the  tags I bought Camila from the side of my counter and placed them over my head and tapped them affectingly before hiding them beneath the shirt and tank.

I enjoyed how the cool metal felt on my hot skin.

I opened my drawer and took out the photograph I hadn't stopped looking at since I received last night. I rubbed the photo with my thumb, over Camila's face.

I undid my shirt pocket and folded the picture before tucking it in there safely over my heart I pat the pocket before doing up the button making sure it wouldn't fall out.

I checked myself over one last time before subtly straightening out my shirt, I looked ready.

I picked up my back pack and headed towards the exit of the tent. On the way out I dropped my air mail package into the post box. It would be collected later today. I would be gone by then.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The heat of the Iran morning was not helping our current conditions. We were loaded into the back of two trucks and carrying our kit and guns. We were all tightly packed into the armoured truck, it was so hot I could feel the sweat gathering under my helmet.

I studied the faces of the men in my truck, they were all stoic and strong, this was just another mission, some of them had partook in hundreds. Except for the guy in my left, Private Simpson.

He looked terrified.

I felt for the poor kid he wasn't expecting this on his first tour he's probably regretting his decision about joining the Army.

"Hey where you from them Simpson?" I tried to make small talk, I knew where he was from, I had studied his file, but he didn't know that.

"Um Suffolk ma'am" his voice was shaky, I gave a nod.

"So you got a girl or guy back home?" I really didn't want to know, as then a name would be put to the person I may have to tell has lost their loved one. Nick was the only person I was close to in the Army but we had been through everything together. We met in the early days and had stayed together ever since.

Even when I was made Corporal above Nick he only congratulated me and I never felt any jealously. I know if it had been the other way around I would have felt the same.

"A girlfriend, her name is Adrienne" he couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

"Pretty name" I shot back.

"Like her" he concluded. I give a small smile at the young love.

"Well just think Simpson, she is going to love your tan" I smirked. Camila use to love the tan I would come with, said she found it sexy. My smile slightly faulted at the thought.

He laughed "She's a red head, she will be jealous"

I could see I had temporarily distracted him but the fear was still there.

I felt I had to provide him with further assurance. "Hey it will be fine just follow my orders don't question me, I tell you to do something you do it no questions asked Okay?" I was firm but reassuring, like a big sister about to take their brother on a rollercoaster.

"Yes ma'am" he nodded and sucked in his lip.

"My job is to bring you all home safe" he stared back into my eyes, I noticed that his were blue " I haven't failed at that job yet"

He nodded, Trusting me.

I just hoped I didn't let him down.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next chapter....... if you have a nervous disposition or cry easily... skip it like a jump rope.