Dear Camila (Camila/you)

Chapter 24

London, England

Camila POV

The memorial came to an end playing Y/N's favourite song. I know I would not be able to hear it again after today. It would ruin my memory of her.

We had all gathered in a local pub for some food and drinks, not that I had either.

I watched Nick closely all afternoon and the amount of pints of beer he had been consuming, I needed to speak to him before he was too drunk to function.

Lauren had left earlier to go collect Nancy from Nick's mom. She didn't have much to say to me, I think she felt awkward. Suddenly losing Y/n meant losing my friend too, or had that happened when I cheated on her, I wasn't quite sure.

In the corner of the pub I saw Private Simpson sitting alone, I wanted him to know that it wasn't his fault. No one should have to live with that guilt.

I walked over to him, he was staring into his pint partially drunk pint with a packet of unopened peanuts on the table.

"Hey Simpson right?" I tentatively asked.

He raised his head at my voice, he looked confused at first then I seen a flash of recognition cross his face "oh it's Camila isn't it?" He stands and put his hand out.

"Um nice to meet you" he nervously smiled. I think he didn't know what else to say to his dead Corporals fiancé.

How did he know who it was?

Oh please don't say he was a fan.

I narrowed my eyes while I took his hand and shook it "mind if I take a seat?" I asked.

"oh no, of course please" he pulled the chair out for me.

God he did remind me of Y/N.

"So Simpson you got a first name?" I giggled slightly to try and lighten the heavy mood.

"Um yeah James, James Simpson" he gave a tight lipped smile. "But Y/N would call me Bart" I couldn't control the laugh that bubbled from my chest. Of course she did. That was something Y/n would do.

"I'm sorry, she could be a bit of an asshole" I moved my bangs from my eyes they had teared up slightly from my laughter.

Simpson laughed too "She said it with affection, it was never to hurt me, I didn't mind it, some of them in the troop called me worse" his eyebrows rose. Y/N had told me about the bullying that could go on in the Army and how she would deal with that shit quickly.

"I bet" I looked down and started playing with a coaster on the table "I just wanted to say, it's not your fault, what happened to her, you shouldn't carry that guilt, she wouldn't want you to" I looked up at him under hooded eyes. It was true y/n wouldn't want this kid feeling responsible.

He looked down "I can't help but feel it is my fault" he looked to the side and I could see his chin start to tremble slightly.

"I shouldn't have run after that kid, or it should have been me picking him up and moving him into that house, not her" he still couldn't meet my eyes "I didn't even" he took a sob "I didn't even try to retrieve her body" he started crying "I'm sorry there's nothing to bury" .

I reached out and gripped Simpsons hand the was on the table in comfort. "It's okay" It wasn't, but it's not his fault. "Hey can I ask how you knew who I was?" I was rubbing his thumb.

He gave a soft smile "Y/n has your picture next to her bed, well a picture of you two, so I couldn't help but ask who you were and she told me you were her fiancé, she looked at that picture all the time, well when she thought no one was looking". He gave me a slight smirk.