Hush, Hush \\ KELLIC BOYXBOY

9

I got home late at night after work. I stood outside mine and Oliver's apartment, not going in yet. I was stalling. Behind that door held a life that I wasn't sure I wanted anymore. Mine and Vic's conversation was stuck in my mind. His words held a hope that I haven't had in so long. I sighed and stepped forward. I unlocked the door and walked in. Oliver was sitting there at the small table typing away on his laptop. He looked up at me and sighed.

"Hey," he said coldly.

"Hi. How was your day?" I asked to be polite as I dropped my bag on the floor. My heart was pounding heavily. I constantly felt uneasy near him.

"Better than yesterday," he said. He got up and came towards me. Other than closing the door behind me, I stayed still. He frowned, looking at me curiously.

"What happened to the make-up? Did you take it off?" he asked accusingly. Shit. I didn't even think to fix it.

"Um, no. It just kind of came off during the day," I said.

"Did anyone see?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No."

"You mean to tell me that you were walking around like this and no one noticed?" he asked. He didn't believe me. This was turning bad. I had learnt all of his telltale signs of when he's about to snap. I had to tread carefully.

"I guess they didn't care," I said in a shaking voice.

"I'm the only one who cares. Remember that," he said. He leant in and kissed me. I didn't enjoy this. I tolerated it, but after spending my night fantasizing about getting out of here, the more I realized I didn't like it at all. I slowly turned my head, but he grabbed my face and made me turn back to him.

"Let's go to the bedroom," he said suggestively. The idea repulsed me. I was scared to say no. I wished that I had the freedom to simply say no and not have to face the consequences of it. Oliver has never forced himself on me sexually. Sure, he's pressured me, but he's never forced me to do that. He's gotten angry when I've refused though, so that's why I never did, until now.

"I'm a little, um, tired," I said cautiously. He went to reach forward. I didn't know what he was doing so I instinctively took a step back. He cocked his head to one side, looking at me inquisitively.

"Scared of me?" he questioned. Yes. I was. I was terrified.

"How can I not be?" I asked. My question was followed by silence. I couldn't live like this anymore. It took Vic finding out about Oliver abusing me to make me come to my senses. I was sick of feeling depressed all the time. I was tired of feeling constrained and helpless. The thing keeping me here for so long was thinking that I had no other options. I thought I was alone. I thought no one would help me. I used to want to be independent, and I still want to be, but I know that right now I need help. Vic's help, not Oliver's. Vic's. His words were still in my head. He said I deserved better and I wasn't sure if I did, but I wanted to find out.

"I can't do this anymore," I said in quiet voice.

"What?" he was looking at me in disbelief, almost like I was crazy, and maybe I was. I should have done this in a public place. I couldn't wait though. I was so desperate to be free.

"I can't do this. Us," I said.

"Hilarious. Help me make dinner," he said and took a step away. He just doesn't get it. This isn't a joke.

"No," I said firmly.

"Kellin, I swear to fucking god!" he shouted. There it was. There was the first outburst. I didn't know how to handle this situation. I've tried breaking up before and always gave into him. This time I was serious. I couldn't back down. For the first time in a long time I had to be strong.