Hush, Hush \\ KELLIC BOYXBOY

18

I had been in this position a few times before. I knew what it was like to lose my mental stability and go through the process of getting better. Because I had been through it before, it was a little easier than the previous times. I knew what to expect and I knew how important cooperating with my doctor and therapist was.

After a few days of being mostly by myself with nothing to trigger an episode, I was doing fine. I was back on my medication and feeling like myself again, or as much as myself that I knew how to be. I wasn't entirely sure who I was anymore. I didn't know what my real personality was. I guessed I'd just have to go with whatever I was feeling at the time. Maybe that was just who I was supposed to be; an emotional mess.

I was now well aware of how I had been acting for the past couple of weeks. I had been a complete dick to Leo. Granted, I still hated him, but I see now that I had overreacted. He was simply acting how any boyfriend would if his boyfriend's ex came back into the picture. No matter how much I justified how much of a jerk he was, I still couldn't bring myself to like him.

I was embarrassed with how I acted towards Vic too. I was absolutely ridiculous. I had been so forceful with him trying to get back together. I was just ashamed with myself. Sure, I was the type of person to aggressively get what I want, but I went was over the line with him and I'd have to apologize. Despite the regret about how I acted, I knew my feelings toward him were real, only they had been magnified into being an obsession. I was still hurt that he chose Leo over me. I didn't know how to react when I see him again.

He was supposed to be coming by later today when he's finished work to pick me up and take me home. I hadn't spoken to him since he left me here. I didn't know how he would react, or rather more importantly how Leo would react to me. I had punched him in the face after all. Hopefully he'd understand I wasn't in my right mind and not kick me out. I was too hopeful. I was wrong.

I was sitting in the room that I was temporarily calling home in the hospital. There wasn't much to do other than flick through magazines and books, plus they let me access my emails so I could get my professors to email me class information so I didn't fall too far behind. Today though, I stuck to magazines. I was too nervous to focus on college assignments. I was counting down the hours until Vic would be here, only I was about to get a surprise. A knock on the open door got my attention and standing there was Leo. What was he doing here? I hesitantly closed my magazine.

"Hi," I said.

"Hello. How are you feeling?" he asked and I could detect the caution in his voice.

"Better," I said. I didn't know how much damage I did to his face, or mainly his nose, but he looked fine. If there had been bruising then it was faded.

"Good," he said. This was awkward. What was going on here?

"Why are you here? Vic's supposed to be picking me up later, or can't he make it?" I asked.

"He can make it, but I've decided there's a change of plans," he said and came further into the room.

"Really? And what might that be?" I asked.

"I want you to move out," he said, and I wasn't surprised. I had nowhere to go though, so I had to fix this. I swung my legs off the side of the bed and stood up.

"Listen, I owe you an apology. I'm really sorry for hitting you and saying all those things to you. I wasn't thinking straight, so I'm sorry," I said, trying to be genuine.

"I know, and I understand that, but I still want you gone," he said

"Leo, please. I have nowhere to go. Can't I just stay for a little longer? I'll stay out of your way, I promise," I said. Begging him felt so wrong. I hated giving him the satisfaction.