Truth or Dare (boyxboy)

Chapter 13 - It's Complicated

"Ok well, truth or dare?" asked Spizzo, leaning back in his seat and settling in. From the vibe coming from the other teen, it seemed like things were slowing down. For now, at least.

Jacob milled the question over for a bit, wondering which option to choose. He questioned why there was even still a choice to be made. He'd had the option to stop this game - Spizzo had given him the option to stop - but he'd chosen to continue on. The reason why, though, was one question he wasn't sure he wanted answered.

"Truth," he ended up choosing. It was the safest choice in their current circumstance.

Spizzo seemed to agree as he nodded with Jacob's choice. His question, however, wasn't as safe. It was one that had been on his mind though. "Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

"Nope," Jacob replied with a shake of his head. "Never even been kissed."

Spizzo turned his head is confusion. "Wait so you've slept with Mr Teagan but you've never kissed anyone?" The maths wasn't add up.

"It's... complicated," was all Jacob gave the other teen.

How could he even explain it? One ill-advised night on an internet chatroom pretending to be much older than he actually was, talking to a kind education student who listened to his problems and offered helpful (although quite idealistic) solutions. Months of flirty messages sent from a school bathroom as he pretended to be in psychology lectures. Late night phone calls that made his heart swoon. The truth was messy and one he didn't think he could properly put into words. His rendezvous with a teacher(-to-be) was a mistake - one big, reputation-crushing, life-destroying mistake.

Admitting it to Spizzo was another.

It was an area that Jacob wanted to move on from.

Tonight and for the rest of his life.

"Truth or dare?"

Sensing Jacob's reluctance, Spizzo didn't push. "Truth."

As Jacob thought for a truth to ask, the other teen watched him. He still had on Spizzo's jersey. The top hung loosely off of the teen's slim shoulders, not as broad as Spizzo's own, with the red material accentuating the pinkness Jacob always seemed to have on his cheeks, almost stark against Jacob's pale skin. A quick glance at Jacob biting his lip in thought told Spizzo that the other teen never got the braces that he'd wanted as a kid. His front left tooth still slanted on an angle, as if it were trying to overlap the right one. Jacob always used to complain about how much he hated it. Looking up, Jacob's hair was much longer now than the close crop he used to have. Mr Patterson had always been adamant that his son had short hair. Anything long was for pansies, apparently. But here Jacob was, his caramel locks almost down to his chin, fluttering lightly in the slight breeze that was blowing through the patio.

As Spizzo made his observations, he realised how long it had been since he'd paid attention to his childhood best friend. He'd seen Jacob around school over the last four years but he'd never really seen him since they'd stop being friends.

Maybe even long before that.

A rock began to settle in the pit of Spizzo's stomach.

A stern "James" told him that he'd missed something while he'd been in his head. "Sorry, what were you saying?" he asked with a guilty smile.

"Y'know, I don't have to be here," Jacob snipped, not amused that the other teen wasn't listening to him. "You could at least pay attention if we're gonna keep playing this game."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," Spizzo apologised again. "What was your question?"

Jacob eyed him for a second, wary of this nice version of Spizzo. He was being patient, apologetic, almost kind. It was not the Spizzo he knew. The impatient, rude, careless, mean Spizzo he'd had to deal with for four years. Nothing like him at all.

Almost like the James he used to know though.

But he wasn't going to go there.

That James was long gone.

Replaced by the body-snatcher in front of him.

"Ok settle down there, drama queen," Jacob thought to himself. He rolled his shoulders in an attempt to relax, noticing that they were up by his ears from how tense he was. He really did need to settle down. With a deep sigh, he repeated his question. "Are you sorry for what you did to me?"

Jacob's question was like a slap in the face for Spizzo. He knew the question was going to come at some point in the night and he thought he knew what his answer would be. He was just surprised that the question was affecting him this way. It was a tough question now. It was complicated. Prior to tonight, the answer would've most probably been a no because, to be honest, he had never been that remorseful for what he did. But the last ten minutes had almost been like a snap back to reality, like he'd seen the light of what his actions had done.

"That's a toughie, Jake," Spizzo responded, not sure how to even begin tackling that question.

"Jacob," the other teen quickly corrected. "We're not back there yet."

"Right, sorry," Spizzo quickly apologised in kind. "But as I was saying: that's a tough question to ask, Jacob."

Jacob's eyebrows laced together as the acid began to boil in his stomach. "How is that a hard question to ask? It's either you are or you aren't. Why does it need to be difficult? If you're not sorry, then just say so instead of trying to be the nice guy out of nowhere and protect my feelings. I've been hurt enough by you, I don't need you to care now all of a sudden. I just want the truth. I want you to explain why. Why did you choose to hurt me? Why did you humiliate me? Why have you been tormenting me for four fucking years? Why, James? Why? Why did you... why did you abandon me?"

Spizzo's stone heart that had begun to crack now crumbled into tiny pieces. The other teen's questions were like a barrage of attacks to Spizzo's gut, lodging that rock deeper and deeper with no way to get it out. The look on Jacob's face, on the verge of tears, made Spizzo want to jump over the patio railing.

"I... I-uh," Spizzo stammered. He was completely lost for words. "I don't... I don't know where to start."

"Start from the start."

"It's going to take a while."

"For this, I have the time."

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A/N: I know the last chapter established them both using each other's first names but for the sake of continuity and not to confuse you guys (and myself) too much, I'll keep on using 'Spizzo' instead of James.