Dean and Clara

Grief

It's Saturday right now, the day I meet up with Dean. I hadn't seen him since Monday. I did see him on Smackdown, He did great. I texted him on Wednesday to tell him about my mother's death and that I was staying with Isaac until Friday so we could spread our mother's ashes. He understood and sent his condolences. I did, however, avoid telling him of my miscarriage, this was something I needed to tell him in person.

I drove a rental to the hotel that Dean was staying at. Isaac was with me, We needed each other right now, too much for him to stay in Nashville alone. We stopped in front of the hotel.

"Now I'm staying with Dean but I made reservation for you on the same floor." I explain.

"I'd be perfectly fine paying for the room by myself." Isaac whines.

"Please, Isaac!" I plead. "Mom said to have each other's back." I finish. He just looked at me and nodded silently. We exited the car and grabbed our luggage. I left him in the check in room of the hotel and went straight to the elevator.

As the elevator began to go up, I began to cry, How was I going to tell Dean? I was filled with grief and fear, unsure of how he would react.

The elevator stops on the fifth floor, Eva hops on to the elevator.

"Hey Clara, nice win on Monday. Don't expect another one when you come back in a year or so." She smirks.

"Thanks." I'm pissed, but part of me has to remember that she doesn't know. Chances are I would be back as soon as Monday, since the doctor said I no longer needed to be careful.

The elevator went up to the sixth floor and I got out and headed to the room Dean and I would be sharing.

I'm about to open the door, but I hesitate. I shake my head, No more waiting, I have to tell him. I enter the room, he is sitting on the bed, AJ is sitting on a chair in the corner. They both get up and surround me in a hug. I thank them, but know that I need to talk to Dean alone. I pull AJ aside.

"Thanks for coming but do you mind giving Dean and I a bit of privacy?" I ask.

"No problem, I understand, I'll see you around." She says before leaving.

"Dean we need to talk." I say.

"Of course, but first, you need to rest. I'm sure you must be exhausted." He says while motioning towards the bed.

"No, this is important, I need to tell you this." I say.

He becomes nervous. "What's the matter?" He asks.

I sit down and begin to cry. He comes around me and begins to rub my shoulders and kiss my neck. "I know baby, I'm sorry about your mother. She was such a nice person. I wish I'd gotten to know her better." He says.

I wipe the tears from my face. "Thanks, but it's not that." I explain.

"Well tell me, being stressed out like this can't be good for the baby." He pleads. I begin to cry. Now is it.

"Dean, I had a miscarriage." I tell him.

He looks at me in shock and confusion. "What... what do you mean?" He says in desperation, tears forming in his blue eyes.

"I'm so sorry." I cry out and fall into him. All the emotions I had tried to keep in we're pouring out. I felt responsible for the loss of our baby, had I not gotten so hysterical over my mother's death, I wouldn't have miscarried. "I'm sorry Dean, it's all my fault." He hugs me in a warm embrace.

"No. Don't blame yourself. We both lost the baby." He says before letting me go. "We can always try again." He points out enthusiastically. I feel bad but I shake my head, no. "Why not?" He asks.

"At least, not right now, Dean. I'm just too scared of another miscarriage." I explain. He gets up, upset.

"Well, are We ever going to try again? Because there will always be that risk." He yells.

"I'm sorry, but I want to get married before I try again." I say. Truth be told, I wanted to get married before trying again out of fear Dean might leave me if I have another miscarriage. If we were married, our relationship would have a much stronger foundation. I didn't want to tell him though, I was afraid it would upset him to say so.

"Okay, I understand." He says, calming down. After a few seconds though, he starts to cry. I run up to him and hug him.

"I'm sorry, but we'll try again soon. Once we get married." I promise. He nods his head. Then, we both lie down on the bed and begin to cry together in our sadness, in our grief.