Second Chance

75

Emma Swan-

This is all so strange. It almost doesn't feel right. As Tink screams off the top of her lungs while she's floating away, Regina kisses me so deeply and surely I'd feel something. I mean- I definitely feel something but I don't think that something is what Reginas feeling. It just feels odd. Reginas spoken so highly of this girl she's madly in love with and so badly fallen for but I don't feel as though I'm that girl.

Don't get me wrong. Regina is drop dead gorgeous! She's one of these popular girls that everyone either drools over or fears, most people fear her but I see nothing but a sassy cute bitch. Definitely my type but that doesn't change anything.

When she kisses me, my heart races but that's just from the adrenaline of kissing a complete stranger.

"So..." I draw out, I feel awkward and nervous. Should I be feeling this way if this is supposedly the woman of my dreams- my true love? "You're quite the powerful woman"

She blushes and looks down, "I can be, although I given up my dark magic for you, that's the first ever time I've done something horrible to someone since I set the dark curse" she shrugs, but I can see her tension as she never once lets her shoulders relax down to a calm way. She's on edge and so am I... this just don't feel normal. "I just hope there's nothing that's going to stop our family from being happy, I know this is a major step back it we will get through this"

I'm completely silent. I cannot find the words, because I don't feel like I've stepped back from anything. Yes my last memory was when I was probably around fifteen but beside the point, I don't remember anybody.

Maybe I'm so taken back because I'm stripped from my memories somehow, maybe it's because I'm in this magical town full of fairytale characters. Sometimes I feel like I'm not awake at all, maybe this is all just one big dream. I wish this wasn't so hard.

I don't think I can do this...

"Look Regina. I know you're trying, but I'm trying too. Henry is a great kid and I told him I'd do my best, but nothing is working. You're this incredibly gorgeous woman and if... if I was with you and we were happy then I'd certainly remember but we're moving to quickly... this doesn't feel normal, I need time" I stutter along, watching as her gorgeous eyes gloss over and I cannot help but feel guilty. I'm breaking her heart and it kills me. "I'm sorry, but I can't just push myself to remember you, I want to slowly get to know you, take things normal, maybe bump into one another accidentally, go for coffee, talk on text a little and then we can go on a date but today just felt wrong with the kissing and the hands and the sudden date, it's just rushed and I know it was a plan to get Tink gone but..."

"Stop." Regina whispers. "I understand"

I take a sudden deep breath and raise from the booth, offering out my hand. "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you" she takes my hand as I help her shimmy out the booth.

"I know, I'm sorry I rushed you"

"I'll walk you home" I awkwardly state in a hushed tone.

We pay the bill and leave the diner earlier than expected. This 'date' didn't go to plan, it didn't even end up being a date, I just need time to think everything through. I need time to be me before I'm forced to think of who I used to be. How am I expected to find who I was when I don't know who I am now.

We enter the cool night, waltzing down the street utterly silent. It's unbearable. It's as though our voice boxes have been ripped out.

We last the whole walk home without a single word spoken.

"Well, this is me..."  her sudden voice breaks through the painful silence and finally we come to a stop. "Again I'm really sorry for today"

"Don't worry, we'll just take things slowly" I nod, awkwardly burying my hands deep in my back jeans pockets. "I can't believe this is your house, I guess it's the perks of being mayor but wow"

"It was once our house..." she whispers lowly not wanting to push further but I hear loud and clear. I understand this must be hard for her but it's hard for me too. She's in pain but I'm left feeling pressured to try and remember something I don't.

"Right, well, I'll see you around... I guess" I scuff my boot on the gravel floor. I so badly just need to go back to granny's bed and breakfast motel and just sleep today off, but I can't find myself gaining the courage to walk away from the brunette.

She's hurt, she's heavily pregnant, how am I supposed to just leave her in this state. There's no hard feelings but she is broken.

I can't do anything though, I need to use this time to focus on me, that way I'll be able to remember who I am. I turn on my heals and begin walking away.

"W-would you like to come in? I can make you a coffee and show you around?" She stutters, rapidly words rumble from her mouth as my feet screech to a stop. I know she wants to invite me in to see if I have any recognition to this home being my own, and maybe it will help.

"Got anything stronger?"