Cascade » fourtris

|3| Behind the Eight Ball Ephialte

Chapter : : three

“After a dream like that, you are grateful that it was just a dream,
that no matter how bad your actual life,
it couldn't be worse than your dream life”

*         *         *

Sleep is the world’s most arduous task when you have been through such a big disaster. It’s as if the world is falling apart. I still have Four’s shuck jacket. I didn’t ask for it but somehow managed to forget returning it.

I swear I could feel the disease writhing in my veins like something spoiled, like sour-milk, when I was standing so damn close to him or rather he was standing close to me.

Is he determined to ruin my life?

No one can ever imagine how difficult my escape was. Firstly, lying to my mum, then breaking the curfew, escaping the regulators... It was a true nightmare.

I have a very bad feeling. What if someone had seen me when I was paddling like a maniac and what if they tell my parents that I had broken the curfew and went to a party? Or worse, what if they arrest me? Even the thought makes me shudder.

No but they couldn’t have possibly seen me. I quit my what ifs for now.

The thing that hurts the most is Christina leaving me alone in a place I have never even dreamed of seeing. How could she leave me in a party alone? I can feel the anger surging in me but I pocket my anger for now, not wanting to forget whatever the heck happened today.

I lay down on the bed, staring in the dark nothingness. Knowing nothing else to do. Cool breeze from the window, nips at my face. I close my eyes and try to sleep.

I'm in the school playground, running all by myself and hating my life, thinking about the choice I am about to make. The sunburst is so bright that I have to squint my eyes to see what's ahead. Running is the best thing you can do clear your mind.

In the bright daylight, I’m unable to see anything. The daylight almost blinding me. But there’s one thing that I can make out. Someone is coming towards me. And I can never forget that someone. The one who wants to make my life a living hell.

Four.

He is running towards me and I on the other hand am completely frozen. I don’t know what to do nor am I capable of doing anything.

He keeps coming closer and closer and . . .

Is there no word like ‘personal space’ in his dictionary?

His hands grasp my waist and I am absolutely dumbstruck. The only sound is of my fast breathing and hard-to-control-heartbeat.

He rests his forehead against mine. His face barely an inch from mine. I get goosebumps, wherever he touches me. And he then says the words I had never imagined he would.

“Tris, I want to feel the pain. I want to feel the pain of Deliria.”

“No, no, no this can’t be happening,” I say, struggling to get out of his firm grip but he keeps pressing himself harder and harder against me.

And then, it struck me that I don’t have any memory of waking up today or anything. I realize that its just a dream, a bad dream...

I scream to wake myself up.

And then, I’m back in my room, hardly breathing, as if someone has sucked up all the air from my lungs. Beads of sweat covering my face. As if I’ve been running for days, months, years...shuck that.

I push myself up in a seating position and try to take deep breaths. Which honestly feels like a dead person, trying to wake-up.

So here, I’ve got an even better reason to choose to be a cured.