Cascade » fourtris

|10| weird but Pleasant

Chapter : : ten

“Your face will always haunt me
Its my comfort and my curse.”

~Beth Crowley

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“Mom, I’m going to Christina’s,” I holler while going downstairs.

“Okay, be back before dark,” she hollers back from the kitchen. I feel terrible lying to mom. But there’s no way am I going to tell her that I’m going to meet Four. It’s better to lie this way than confronting her and lying. I can't look into her eyes and lie straight out on her face.

“Yeah, I will. Bye, mom!”

“Bye, sweetie!”

It’s way too early to go there but I’m more than excited to meet him again. I didn’t see him at school today, I wonder where he was. I just hope he’ll come. I really want to see him.

I brush my hair with my hand once again, hoping I don’t look like a fool. I check the time and it’s barely six. It hardly takes fifteen minutes to reach the beach. Hah, it rhymed! I mentally slap myself at what I’m thinking right now.

I close the door behind me. It’s still warm, the sun hasn’t set yet. I stare at the orange, almost pink sky as a tear slips down my cheek. I’m going to miss my best-friend. Christina and Caleb were the only ones who were-are close to me, the only ones who I care about and they are infected.

It’s not like I don’t care about my parents. I do care about them, I really do. It’s just that I haven’t seen any emotions in them. And that’s exactly what I am scared of. I will be stoic just like my parents and like the other people. I won’t like anything or hate anything. Most of all I will miss these days of my life when I have real feelings for things, for people. If you don’t like something or hate anything, then what’s the fun in that?

But sometimes I think, being emotionless is good. You won’t feel sad, disappointed about anything. Like now, I wouldn't have felt heart broken and I wouldn't have been crying if I were a cured.

And now that I think about it I wonder if the procedure will be worth the emotions we are sacrificing. But now I really am wondering if I made the wrong choice. This pain feels good. More tears fall as I think about my choice. Something tells me I’m going to regret it.

“You’re still here?” My mother’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I quickly wipe my eyes and turn around, facing her.

“I was just leaving,”

“Okay, and don’t be out too late,” she says with no emotions at all. I simply nod, knowing my voice will definitely betray me.

I quietly turn around and decide to walk as I still have a lot of time. I almost jog.

Wow Tris, eager much? Four. I really want to see him.

By the time I reach the beach I’m running and there he is facing the beach, like yesterday. I look around. The beach is crowded unlike yesterday. Children are making sand castles, running around, some people are walking around while few are simply talking. It feels lively. Yesterday it was just me and him here. And even though everything is just like it always is on the beach, it feels different today. It seems more beautiful. Or might be my imagination.

I just stand there, staring at him and drinking in his features-his tall, lean frame and dark brown, almost black hair. I have been staring at him a lot lately. So much that I can definitely make a perfect sketch of him.

It feels a bit creepy staring at him and saying nothing. So I move towards him and as if he can sense if I am here he turns around and again I stare at his handsome features—Deep blue eyes, his soft lips ...

“Hey,” he says gazing at me, his eyes glazing over at the sight of me.

“Hey,” I say, even my voice sounds so .. Dreamy. And I’m not the least embarrassed.

“You came,” he says stupidly. As if he can’t believe I’m here.

“Of course I did.” In fact I couldn’t wait to see you again, I add in my mind. He is looking at me with so much intensity that I can’t look away and I want to be closer to him. My heart thuds so loudly in my chest that I’m sure he can hear it.

We sit side by side on a blanket on the beach just looking at the sun and listening to the chirping of birds and the lapping waves. It feels so peaceful and beautiful here. Our legs are almost touching and I can feel the strange feeling in my stomach.

“It’s amazing,” I say as I look at the pinkish-orange color of the sky and the sea beneath it. It looks as if the sea is swallowing the sun.

“Yeah,” Four wishers. He is so close that I feel his breath on my neck and my heart starts beating even faster.

“What did you choose?” He suddenly asks and I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know if I like the choice I have made anymore.

“Why does it matter?”

“It does. Tell me, what did you choose.”

“Cured,” I say, my voice is barely audible.

“What?” He says abruptly standing up.

“I .. I chose to be a cured.”

“Why?” He says with such a hurt look that for once I want to lie and tell him I was joking. It hurts me to see him like that. I stand up and take few steps closer to him but he takes a few steps back and this time it's me who feels hurt. I want to be close to him again.

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.

“Of course, you don’t,” he says and I think I saw water in his eyes before he turns and runs.

“Four! Four, wait!” I call out running after him. I can’t let him run away from me but is gone and I am here, heart broken. It feels as if someone just cut one of my arms.

I didn’t even realize that I’ve been crying. There’s no way in hell am I going to let him leave me. Not now.

I don’t know how to name the weird feeling in my stomach when I’m around him. It’s totally new and I like it. I need to ask him that soon.