"You left me in a darkness I never knew existed. You left me all alone with a burning desire to ruin everything that reminded me of you and sadly that included myself. You broke me and yet I managed to survive, hanging in the edge. Living in a world...
What I feeling was something I can never put in words. Fate is inevitable, like they said. I wanted to run but my legs wouldn't move, breathing turned out to be a luxury as my lungs suddenly felt empty and my hands were shaking uncontrollably. All I could think was is that I wanted to get out of there. After so many years of desperately trying to erase every single living memory of his, I ended up in such an ironical situation. All I could do is stand there lifelessly hoping that this was a damn nightmare. But fuck, it wasn't.
His expression slowly turned void. He walked in, closing the door behind him. Slowly strolling to his table, he didn't even spare another glance at me. I cursed at my myself for not storming off there. I stood still trying to focus on his features with my blurry eyes.
He had changed a lot. His slightly chubby face had totally disappeared and he had obviously lost a lot of weight. His physique had become more prominent especially in that tight white shirt of this. His biceps were literally begging to be free from his tight shirt. His eyes were cold and his hair was neatly styled and parted in the middle. This only thing that seemed the same was his pink lips that I had once owned, but what was I even thinking?
"Staring without concent is rude babygirl" His deep voice painfully rang in my ears, bringing me back to my senses. He opened the buttons of his sleeves folding them upwards such that his arms were exposed. He grabbed a box and wore his glasses, something I had never seen before. All this was too sudden and overwhelming. I looked down trying to calm myself as more tears collected in my eyes. I clenched my fists and took deep breaths but I knew that all this was useless. I quickly managed turned around and walked out of the room. I didn't hear him chasing after me and I was grateful that he didn't, I mean, why would he? I was nothing but a piece of trash for him. I ran down 17 floors like an idiot earning weird glances from everyone but I couldn't care less. I got out of the building ignoring all the calls I got from Soyeon.
I immediately took a bus and rode back home knowing that I would have some time alone with Mia not being there. I walked into my house and ran into my room slamming the door close. I came to a halt, standing still, staring blankly at nowhere. It was just an hour ago that I was so happy about finally getting a job but now I am to questioning my whole damn existence. Finally, I let my tears flow free. I hated being so weak but I sure wasn't strong enough to hold things within myself. All this was so wrong, I never deserved all this. I dropped my bag down and covered my face, sobbing hard. All I asked for is to never see his face ever again but nothing ever seemed to be in my way.
I sat down on the ground trying to calm myself. I shouldn't care about him. I needed a job and I got one, they were paying me. All I needed to do is do my job. But I wish it was that simple. His presence was just eating my soul. He was probably happy with his wife and probably even had a a kid. But here I was crying over someone who never cared about me since day one. I was a coward and I knew it. I crawled onto my bed and laid on it closing my eyes. I just wanted this to be a dream, but of course my life wasn't rainbows and unicorns. With that heavy heart and swollen eyes I fell asleep.
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