"I heard about her, she's bad for you."
"Like you were any better."
"She's going to ruin you."
"Then let her."
Blake Gunner always looked for the bad in people, to know that he's not the only one. Yet to also see if they can defeat the bad like he t...
Song: Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have
Artist: Lana Del Rey
Trudy is Never Complacent
Lana
My so-called nap only lasted about fifteen minutes until my roommate walked into our cell. When I got here, she told me to call her Sona and to keep to myself. I didn't know what that meant until I realized she was a germaphobe. Sona glared down at me, her jaw tightened and I immediately stood up.
"It isn't bedtime yet."
"I was taking a nap. All morning I was moping the floors on the ground level." I pushed up my glasses yet avoided eye contact with Sona. Her bald head and silent gestures made me want to cry even more. She dipped her head at my bed and I jumped to it.
As I creased out the sheets and refolded the blanket, a security guard approached our cell. He nodded at Sona which she returned and grabbed a book from her stack in the corner. I couldn't imagine how long she's been in here to make the cell look like home.
"Willson, you got visitors." The security guard rested his hands on his belt and waited. I wondered who it was. I've been getting daily visits from my lawyer, my parents visited once since I arrived a few days ago and Levi was here on New Year's Day. The security guard clapped with his brows squinted. "Let's go!"
I followed him down the many flights of stairs. Past the women's cells and got a glimpse of the men. A few of them noticed and whistled and catcalled. The security guard did nothing except nudge me to walk faster. Benny, Nick, and Liam were in here too. We all waited for our trial and so far, it's been terrible. I cry myself to sleep at night, thankful that Sona's a heavy sleeper so I can be grateful that I made it through the day. Do my job and don't speak to anyone so I don't get into trouble. I have made no friends and don't want to because I have to get out.
When I entered the visitation room, they packed the tables and chairs with inmates and their loved ones. A wall separated the male and female inmates. I scouted out the room until an arm raised. Levi waved with hopeful eyes. Blake and Miranda came too. Part of me was glad but yet again, my parents didn't show their faces. I've called, and all mom did was made me cry while dad was solid as a brick wall.
"I'm so glad to see you." I hugged them each with Miranda and Levi being the longest. Levi kissed my forehead then my lips. To feel his lips against mine, realized how I lacked human connection. It was like that warmth you feel once you're out of the cold and into a heated restaurant where everything smells good and your stomach screams with hunger.
"That's enough." A guard walked past, and I pulled away as if she'd strike us. That's all I've been in here. A scared cat who jumped at any sound. We sat at the round table but I noticed they sat opposite me. It felt like I was being questioned again. Against them. I've spoken to so many strangers the past week I've lost count and couldn't remember their names when they introduced themselves.
"How are you doing?" Levi reached out to touch my hand but the guard eyed us once again. "Are you okay? How's it being in here?"
"To answer all your questions in one word, sh*t. It's been total, utter sh*t."
"It can't be that bad, at least you're separate from the men." Miranda attempted to smile, but I squinted at her.
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