Leo Valdez x Reader

Stand By You

A/N: I've decided to give a song chapter a go. Please don't crucify me if it's bad, but please do let me know where I can improve.

Words: 1488
Next: Stand By You ~ Part 2
Warnings: Some slight swearing, cutting, death of a loved one, mentions abuse, depression (Jeez. This one's loaded...)

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Y/N's pov

The hurt in your eyes will never disguise
The spark that lived there before

Looking into Leo's eyes, you could tell that he was broken. Where there had once been fight, now there was an empty abyss. He was in pain. Everyone had tried to console him. But the person he needed most was the reason for his tears.
Calypso.
After her death, the just didn't have a reason to smile anymore.

And I know that you're so much more
Than you're showin'

They tried everything, but no one could bring out the old Leo. We all missed him so much. And I was the only one who knew that the old Leo, was never truly the real Leo to begin with. First he had to cover up the pain of his mother's death, then the constant rejections and third wheeling, now this. When she first smiled, it took all of him not to fall for her. When she first laughed, it took all of him not to kiss her. And when they first kissed, it took all of him. So that when she left, she took all of him with her, and left us with the shell of broken boy.

The clouds in your head will bringin' in tears
But I will catch every drop
Even if it don't ever stop
Cause you're worth it, you're worth it

The flow of tears didn't seem to have an end. But you made sure you were always there to dry his cheeks. It terrified you. Whereas before, Leo would have held in his tears, now he just didn't care. And that's what scared you the most. Because the old Leo would never have given up. And now, he can't seem to find a reason to fight anymore.

When you fight for every breath
And the waves are overhead
Let me lay your mind to rest

As you watch over him while he rests, all is silent except for the Leo's labored breaths and few sobs that escape his throat to fill the dark room. It seems to grow worse each day, and you wish there was something you could do to help him. With a sigh, you decide that until such a time comes, you'll continue to watch over him, as he had once done for you. 

When all of your dreams are shattered
And your world is left in tatters
When you're lost, we're lost together
I'll stand by, I will stand by you

Leo had never seen a future for himself, until he met Calypso, then the only future he could see was where he was with her. Now that she's gone, he can't see a life for himself. He doesn't see anything anymore. I hadn't realized until now that the reason Leo pried my eyes open to the beauty of the world, was so I could tell him and remind him what the world was like before he was blinded by grief and guilt. These thoughts send me tumbling into memories that had long since been buried, but who's burial stones stuck out in my mind as reminders of an unforgettable day with a message that will live with me forever.

The war in your head will shoot you down dead

"Useless!" "B*tch!" "Good for nothing!" "Ugly!" "Loser!" "Fat!" Every insult has left a scar in my mind like the beatings had on my body. A bruise will heal, a scar can be covered and hair can be regrown. But a voice? Nah, that sh*t's there to stay. My whole life I've worn my smile like a loaded gun, knowing a single word can label you as a murderer or a hero.

So don't even try to win
Is it worth it all in the end?
I don't think so

Every day, my brain arms itself with the insults it can find in the endless array of horrifying memories I find impossible to erase. While my heart looks high and low for positive emotions to defend me with. It wasn't long before it worked out, it's impossible to win a battle that you're trying so desperately to lose.

Try to embrace the lines on your face
The story of who you are
Cause I love what I've read so far
I mean it, I mean it

I'd always been ashamed of myself. I figured there had to be something wrong with me, not the people who were mean to me. If only one hated me, but the rest didn't, then there was something wrong with that one person. But because they all hated me, then that could only mean there was something wrong with me, and they were right. From a young age I believed that there was something wrong with me that everyone else could see, and the only way for them to get rid of it was to beat out of me. Back when I was little, I believed no one could commit an evil act willingly or without reason, boy did I have a lot to learn. When I got rescued by a satyr and taken to camp, I was shocked and slightly confused that no one hit me. I figured that they were all like me, they must all have the quality that the world punished me for. I finally decided, after a few days with no abuse, that if these people didn't know how to beat this bad thing out of me, then I'd have to do it myself.

When you fight for every breath
And the waves are over head
Let me lay your mind to rest

I will stand by you
When all of your dreams are shattered
And your world is left in tatters
When you're lost, we're lost together
I'll stand by, I will stand by you
If black is your brightest colour
If hurt is your only lover
When you fight, we fight together
I'll stand by, I will stand by you
I will stand by you, I will stand by you
I will stand by you

Leo found me one night, kneeling on the bathroom floor. I couldn't see much through the tears that blinded me. But I could still feel, still smell, and still hear. I could feel the cold tiles of the floor, my knees digging in to the gaps in between. I could smell the harsh salt that trickled from my eyes to itch my cheeks, and soft sweat that wept from my skin in pain. Could hear the tinkling patter of blood as it collapsed on the clear blue of the bathroom tiles. A harsh contrast on the calming colour and, just like me, an ugly in a world of such peaceful beauty. I could taste the horrid life-giving liquid at the back of my throat, filtered in through my nose, and filling my mouth with a foul metallic tang. The cool knife I gripped in my hand did little to numb my wounded wrist. I made no noise. A gasp in the doorway caused me to whip my head up and rub away the tears that clouded my vision.
It was Leo.
I remember him running at me and knocking the knife out of my hand. I remember him carefully bandaging my arms, only pausing once to look me dead in the eye and whisper a single, heart-breaking question; "why?" I couldn't stop the words from leaving my mouth. I explained the my feelings to him, who I was, and where I came from. My shoulders felt lighter as I slowly took the weight off them, as my heart became heavier from the fear of rejection. As I finished my story, Leo looked me in the eyes, gripping my hand with one of his, and using his other to force me to look into his chocolate-coloured eyes, which were swirling with understanding, passion, and something else. Something that was true. A something that I'd never felt before.
Leo told me something that night. Something I think about often.

"I love you Y/N, and I promise to never leave your side."

When you fight for every breath
And the waves are over head
Let me lay your mind to rest
I will stand by you

When all of your dreams are shattered
And your world is left in tatters
When your lost, we're lost together
I'll stand by, I will stand by you
If black is your brightest colour
If hurt is your only lover
When you fight, we fight together
I'll stand by, I will stand by you
I will stand by you
I will stand by you, I will stand by you
I will stand by you
I will stand by you

"I love you Leo, and I promise to never leave your side."

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A/N: Wow...That was slightly cringy (cringey?). Sorry if that disappointed you.
Till next time my pretty psychos!
AlyssCat