Torn // H.S.

Chapter 19

He is staring directly at me. Julie is standing in front of him, her back to him as she rejoins the group. I stand there frozen. My mind cannot form a coherent thought as I process his presence in front of me. He peels his eyes away from mine and slips his arm around Julie's shoulders. He is intentionally driving a stake into my heart. I want to throw up as I watch her hand slide down his back. A million thoughts are flying through my head all at once, and I feel my chest tightening. How did he know we would all be here, but the answer to that is obvious as Julie is latched onto him so tight he probably can't breathe. I struggle trying to hide my shaky breath. How long has he known and why didn't he question me about it? I silently curse at myself for not telling him, but I didn't say anything because everything has been going so well between us these last few weeks and I was afraid of how he would react. I wanted to hang out with everyone and I knew he would not like the idea of Sam being here, but it wasn't about Sam. I just wanted to see everyone. And now he is standing in front of me, laughing with my best friend wrapped around him, and my body feels numb. All I want to do, is push her off him, run my hands up his chest, and smash my lips against his so she knows he is mine. But I also want to scream in his face for being an asshole and pulling the same stunt he promised me he wouldn't do again. Especially after everything he knows about me, after last night. How could he do this to me. I force myself to look away from them and settle on staring at the floor instead as I try and figure out what I am going to do. He knows how I feel about him. I said it in not so many words, but he has to know what he means to me. He knows I do not want to play these games with him. But I refuse to let him get to me this time. I refuse to let him ruin my night out with MY friends. So I do the only thing that I know will piss him off as much as he is pissing me off. I glance over at Sam who is still standing next to me.

"Come with me to get a drink?" I say with a smile, my tone flirty and loud enough so that Harry can hear me over the music. I know I will be needing more than one drink with how this night is going.

"Yeah let's go," Sam responds immediately slightly surprised, but a giant smile is covering his face.

"Great!" I smile and take ahold of his hand as we start to walk away. I know it is wrong to be using Sam like this, but the look on Harry's face when I glance behind me makes it worth it.

When Sam and I get back from the bar we find the group piled into an empty booth in the corner. Maya and Dylan are shoved to the back of the booth leaving Julie and Harry sitting directly across from where Sam and I take our seats. They are all slightly tipsy and going on about their spring break plans. Except for Harry. He is sitting directly across from me, his arm draped behind Julie. He sits quietly, pretending to be interested in whatever they are talking about, but I know he could care less. No one finds it strange or out of the ordinary for him to only make a comment every now and again. Because that is the Harry they are used to, but not me. I decide this version of him is my least favorite. I am used to his care free attitude, going on and on about a new song he found, or a book he read. I am used to his witty comments and never ending sarcasm. I find myself always waiting to hear his laugh. I continue to sit there across from him, I only speak when someone asks me a question. My hands wrapped around my cold drink that I have only had a few sips of, because I am too distracted by the three drinks Harry has finished in the last twenty minutes. I can tell he is becoming intoxicated quickly as his eyes start to become hazy and linger longer every time they meet mine. His hair is getting more disheveled every time he runs his hand through it. His cheeks are slightly pink from the alcohol he has consumed, and I can't keep myself from imagining how warm they would feel to touch.

We keep making eyes from across the booth. We can both feel it. I know he can. With the amount of times my eyes have met his it is impossible that he is not looking at me, as much as I am looking at him. Every time our eyes make contact I feel my body ignite despite the current situation. Does he have any idea how much he is killing me. I cannot help but wonder why these feelings are always felt, but can never seem to said between us. But rather screamed at one another while one of us is breaking. I know he doesn't feel this with her. The constant subconscious pull to be next to her, the sense of calm of just sitting next to her. Can he honestly say he shares the same connection with her that we have? He knows how much he is hurting me, he promised he wouldn't do this again. But maybe this was his plan all along. Maybe it was always just a game to him, and maybe he finally won.