Torn // H.S.

Chapter 29

Being Harry's friend was something I never realized I needed. I thought having him the way I did was the most amazing thing I could ever imagine. And it is, but joking with him and laughing with him so hard that we can't breathe and tears sting the corner of our eyes. These things are so simple, but so very extraordinary. Finals start next week, followed by graduation the week after. I have felt so happy the last two weeks that I'm not even stressing about what happens after that. Harry and I have hung out whenever we have free time. We have kept it simple like we talked about. Doing things that friends would do. Meeting up at the cafe so I could study and he could get some work done on his laptop.

Last week we met up with some of his friends at an old bar in town and had drinks and played pool. I got to meet his friend Zayn and his girlfriend Olivia, who I actually really like. It was nice to see the way Harry is with them. Laughing and making jokes. I liked watching them tease him about me, and making him blush. I have tried to avoid being completely alone with him, either doing things in public or with friends. Even though we are doing great as friends I still find myself staring at his lips when he talks sometimes. Or he will subconsiously put his hand on my leg or the small of my back, but pull away as soon as he realizes what he's doing. We have also avoided any stressful conversations trying to keep the topics light. It has been a nice change. It's been so carefree, like all the pressures that were there before are gone. I don't have to worry about Julie finding out, or carefully thinking through everything I say before I say it.

It's been another beautiful weekend. April is coming to an end and finals week officially starts tomorrow. I woke up to Harry calling me this morning saying that he was bored and I needed to get up and hang out with him. So much for sleeping in on Sundays, although I honestly don't mind that much. I would much rather be here at my favorite spot laying in the sun and enjoying Harrys quiet presence. It is much better than the tension filled apartment I have been living in.

"What are you thinking about?" Harry says and I look over to find his eyes studying my face.

He is leaning against a giant oak tree that we set up the blanket in front of. His long legs are stretched out next to me, crossed at the ankles. We got here nearly an hour ago now and we haven't said but a few words to one another. Harry has been reading his book, while I lay on my back staring at the leaves swaying above me and letting the sounds of the creek send me into an almost meditative state. This is the first time we have truly been alone together since we started spending time together again.

"Nothing in particular. Just thinking." I say returning my gaze back to the sunlight that peaks in and out of the leaves as they move.

"Really?" he questions his eyebrows lowering and eyes squinting at me as if he doesn't believe my answer.

"Really," I chuckle. "I'm just enjoying doing nothing before my finals start tomorrow." I sigh.

"Have you talked to Julie yet?" he asks closing his book and placing it beside him on the blanket turning his full attention to me.

"Sure, we talk all the time," I say casually. "Yesterday I asked her if she wanted a cup of coffee." Sarcasm filling my voice.

"You know that's not what I meant Allie," his tone is serious and he continues to stare down at me as I avoid his gaze.

I know exactly what he means. Because he has been asking me that same question for the past three days and I have continued to ignore it. I don't know why he is so concerned about it. Maybe he feels guilty. But, I don't see why I am the one who always has to start these conversations. Why am I the one who has to beg her to talk to me, or try and understand where I am coming from. If she wants to have a friendship with me, why can't she talk to me this time.