Torn // H.S.

Chapter 25

HARRY POV:

Sunday night:
Her red puffy eyes are burned into my brain. They are the last thing I see, by the time I make it outside her car is already leaving the parking lot. Julie is standing there, her back to me as she watches Allie's car drive away. This horrible wave of guilt rushes over me as I stand there, watching her car disappear. It's like nothing I've ever felt before. Not even when I left her standing in the parking lot last night at the club. My anger mixed with one too many drinks did a good job of fooling myself into thinking my response was justified. But standing here replaying the look of her face moments ago I know how wrong I was. She looked so broken and exhausted, and it's all my fault. I did this to her, we did this to each other. I shove my hand in my pocket digging for my car keys. I need to see her, and make sure she's okay. After everything she may hate me now and I deserve it, but that doesn't change the way I feel about her. She is probably blaming herself right now. I know how scared she was about Julie finding out and I left her to deal with it alone. Just as I reach my car a shrill voice stops me.

"Where do you think you're going?" Julie snaps from behind me. I almost ignore her and get in my car. It's what I would have done before Allie. I wouldn't have cared. I would have left Julie standing there with her angry glare and would not of thought twice about it. But instead I stop and turn to face her glassy but cold eyes. It's not for Julie though, I'm acknowledging her only because maybe I can take some of the harsh words she is sure to unleash so that Allie doesn't have to. If I can get Julie to understand that it's not Allie's fault. That I was the one who pushed her to talk to me even though she told me no. I started all of this because I was selfish and I didn't care that Allie was scared, all I knew was that I needed to be around her. If I can just get Julie to understand that it's not Allies fault, maybe she'll forgive her.

I open my mouth to speak but Julie beats me to it. "I can't believe you! I heard you were an asshole and had your share of girls, but this is- I mean Allie!?!? I can't believe she did this to me! We went on a double date with her and Sam!? I bet the two of you were having a grand time laughing behind my back. What was this some sick game you two had going on!?" She's screaming so loud that I'm sure the people inside the restaurant can hear her.

"No. It's not a game. It's my fault. I kept talking to her and she tried to get me to leave her alone, but I wouldn't. This was never supposed to happen, but it did." I choose my words carefully, keeping my voice even.

"Oh right, you didn't mean to sleep with my best friend behind my back. Right? That's what's happening here, you flirt with me and go out with me and then go sleep around with Allie?" She says through gritted teeth and I swear I can see smoke coming from her ears.

I can't help it as my mouth drops open at her words. How could she think that about Allie. She knows her better than anyone. How could she think that this was all just about sex.

"You're not serious right?" I ask her without a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

She looks at me and her eyes begin to widen as the realization of what is really happening hits her. But she doesn't say anything. Her mouth slowly opens and I think maybe she is going to start yelling again, but she closes it without a word.

"She didn't want this to happen. She tried to fight it, but I wouldn't let her. She wanted to tell you, but she was scared. Now I can see why." I state pushing some of the blame onto her but it doesn't make me feel any better.

"I'm not the bad guy here Harry! I was the one who was left in the dark and now I feel like an idiot because I should have known. I should have seen it."

"You're right, you should have noticed. But that would require you to pay attention to someone other than yourself for more than five minutes," I let my frustration at the current situation unravel with my harsh comment.