the magician//d.winchester

10.

Castiel knew before we got home, " Angel radio is loud. Very loud. Did you use your powers?"

I nodded, still shaken up. I didn't let go of Dean's arm the whole ride home. I was still holding it now. " Harper, how do you feel?" Sam asked.

I shook my head, " Not good. I feel very not good."

" Do you feel like-"

" No," Dean said harshly, " She doesn't feel murderous."

Sam furrowed his eyebrows, " Dean, calm down."

" No. She's upset and needs to rest. So let her rest."

They all seemed shocked by Dean's abruptness. I didn't mind. I was frazzled, tired. I was scared. Scared God or the Angels or Demons will find me. They would kill me. Or worse. They'd kill Dean. They'd kill Jack and Sam and Castiel. I started crying. I covered my mouth to try and prevent sobbing. I heard a door slam, " Harper?"

" Jack, she's fine." Sam said, " She's here."

" Her powers. I feel them. Has someone found her? Has anyone hurt her?"

" Not yet." Dean said, " No ones going too."

" Jack, take her to lie down. We all need to talk." Sam said, staring at his brother.

I latched on to Jack, wanting so badly to get away from the yelling I knew was about to start between Sam and Dean. I jumped when it started, Jack slamming my door shut as it did. " They're not upset with you. I used to think they were always upset with me. They're worried."

" I know." I shook my head, " Everything just seems louder."

" I think it is. It always has been for me. You're going to feel... strange. I was human for a bit. My, our father. He stole my grace for a period of time. And when I was back to normal, I noticed how different things were. Not sleeping as much, eating less. It's all so different. You won't feel any different. You'll have your emotions. You're far better with them than I am."

" You're technically 3 years old, Jack." I shook my head, " I'm 30. Everything will be fine. I'm just... I'm scared. If they hurt any of you, I won't be able to forgive myself."

" You have me now, if you're as strong as... Lucifer. Together, we can do anything."

" Jack, is there anyway together we could close the pit. Close purgatory? Hell?"

Jack frowned, " I think so. I think... we're supposed to be stronger than the angel that made us. And Lucifer was... the strongest of them. Together you and I would be, amazing."

" Are we amazing, Jack?" My voice cracked, " Am I? My evil parents, am I truly good like you?"

Jack took my hands, setting them softly on the sides of his head, " Show me something beautiful."

" I-I need to remember the spell I use for-"

" You don't need a spell." Jack said, " We don't need a spell. Just show me."

Something beautiful. None of my life with Jim was beautiful. Happy, yes. Beautiful? No. It was always full of death and sadness and monsters. Something beautiful. What was beautiful?

I saw the last beautiful thing I remembered. It was here before I knew of Jack. The bunker. I was eating dinner with Sam and Dean. Dean has just choked on a pizza crust, and Sam and I were hysterical. His facial expressions and anger was so funny, but it was nice to see him lighten up eventually. He did smile, and he did laugh with us. I opened my eyes, Jack's were yellow, my fingertips glowing the same hue. Jack laughed, " You love them."

" I wouldn't say that."

" It doesn't seem like love. Sam is your friend. He's nice to you and loves your witchcraft and hunting stories. I can tell. Dean, he thinks... oh. He told me not to tell people things like that."

" Things like what?"

" People's feelings. He won't say it. He thinks you're... pretty."

The daughter of Satan blushing over a dude. Gross. Hunters never got happy endings. I guess I wasn't a normal hunter. Neither were Sam and Dean. It wasn't something I could think about now. Not until we weren't in danger. Until the world was safe from the horrible creatures in hell. Romance was out of the question. " Do you think I'm good, Jack?"

He nodded, " There's no doubt you're good. Because you're my family. And family is good."

***

I guess I was still human enough to need to sleep. It wasn't peaceful. I never dreamt much. But this wasn't a dream. I stood in darkness, confused, alone. " I've got a boy and a girl. Aren't I lucky?"

" Hello?" My voice echoed, " Who was that?"

The voice was sarcastic, teasing. " Oh you've never met me, that's okay. I guess Maria didn't die as soon as I hoped. Impressive witch. Hiding my little girl for 30 years. I never even suspected you were alive."

" Lucifer." I whispered, " Scum. You worthless thing. You killed so much of my family. So many hunters."

" I'm you're family, sweetheart. And Jacky boy of course. He'll come around. Only if you do first. Come on, I thought you were daddy's little girl? Wrong father figure of course."

" You aren't my father. Jim Barlow is my father."

" Yeah sure. Jim's you're father, you want to sleep with the Winchester. I need you to pull me back just like you did for my boy. Come on my girl, bring dear old dad back?"

" You're dead." I whispered, making myself laugh, " I'm you're last choice. You have no one else. You felt my power wake up so you did too."

" Of course! You're stronger than your brother. Your mother was the strongest witch to exist. You pulled him back, so it's time for a family reunion."

" Go away," I said, " You leave Jack alone!"

" Good God you've known the boy for a week. I just woke myself up to meet my daughter from the angelic afterlife and this is how you act."

" Go to sleep then!" I screamed, " Go back to sleep!"

" You will do as I say, you're MINE! I created you! You were hidden too long, and you will never be loved by them. Dean Winchester thinks you're a freak! You'll kill them all, or I'll do it for you!"

I held my hands over my ears, " Go to sleep!"

" Harper!"

My eyes opened, I was in my bed. I was in the bunker. Dean was still half asleep, shaking his head, " You were screaming. I thought someone might have broken in or-"

" Bad dream. I'm fine," I stood up, pushing him towards the door, " Goodnight."

He grabbed my arm, holding it up. My entire body was shaking, the tips of my fingers yellow, " Pretty bad dream to shake you this bad."

I nodded, " Dreams. About Lucifer. It's nothing, I've got it under control."

" Don't act like me," He said, " Don't act unbothered by things that freak you out."

I shook my head, sitting back on my bed, " I'm okay."

" Well, goodnight then."

He went to pull the door shut, and I spoke before my mind could decide if it was the right idea, " Can you stay, just until I'm back asleep?"

He didn't say anything. He pulled the chair away from my desk, setting it next to my bed. " Get some rest."

It was better with him here. I knew he understood. The Winchester's had both been in hell. They knew how awful Lucifer was. How freaked out I was. It was nice to drift off feeling safe. It was even nicer gently grabbing at his hand, and it was nice when he didn't pull away.