I couldn't imagine myself without Isaac now. He's a huge part of my life and he's been here for me more than most of my own family. Crazy, right? How can a boy who's been in my life for well over 7 or 8 so months, be the one who's experienced more in the short time than my own family?
I lay in bed, thinking about everything possible. School, homework, writing, music, Isaac, wondering what my friends are doing and Isaac again. I decide to get up and turn my laptop on.
"What to do?" I ask myself, instantly thinking I'm crazy for talking to myself. I laugh a little too loud.
I decide to message Stiles, asking if he got the math homework done.
Stiles:
Sure do, you need it?
Ashlyn:
Please, you'll be my hero.
Stiles: I'm everyone's hero, what're you talking about?
Ashlyn: exactly, so, homework or?
Stiles: okay, come over. Bring cookies though.
Ashlyn: whatever, Stilinski. Be there in 20.
~~~
I get to Stiles' house and knock on the door. It's a bit chilly today and I hope he doesn't take forever to let me in.
"What do you want?" Stiles laughs.
"Shut up. Let me in." I say and he steps out of the way, I lay the cookies on the table and wait for him to hand me his homework.
"Here you go," he says, handing me the math problems. "Better get on it, you're already making enough F's, I'm sure you don't need another." He laughs at his lame joke and I roll my eyes.
"Whatever, you're the one making F's, Stilinski." I say.
"Since when did you call me that?"
"Since now, can you be quiet? I'm trying to study!"
He sits back and turns the tv on as I copy his answers down. Still checking them just in case he's lied to me and just zoomed through every bit of this. That's something he'd do.
He switches between his phone and tv, focusing on both occasionally. I finally finish up the problems, throwing my book back into my bag and letting out a sigh.
"Sigh," he says. "That's all you do. Sigh, sigh, sigh."
"Did you say something?" I look at him and laugh, pretending to ignore him.
"I hate you sometimes."
"Oh, whatever! You love me," I say, hugging him. "So much!"
There's a knock on the door and I quickly stand to my feet, it's a habit to do such a thing after what's been going on recently. Stiles opens the door to what looks like a panicked Isaac and an annoyed Scott.
"What's wrong?" Stiles looks at Scott then to Isaac. Does he even see me?
"Isaac is panicked." I hear Scott say and I sit back down, I don't want to interrupt. Should I sneak out through the back door? I laugh, maybe it's no big deal. They should've seen my car outside anyways.
"Why though?" Stiles asks and Scott says he'll tell him later. Why not now? They all walk into my living room and when Isaac looks up, his eyes widen.
"Uh...what're you - what're you doing here?"
"Visiting Stiles, had to get some homework from him as well."
"Why didn't you tell me that?" He asks me.
"Because I didn't think I'd be here long. What's wrong with you?" I can tell from his face something's wrong. It looks like he's been crying and hasn't slept in years.
"Nothing, I'm fine." Here we go!
"Oh, are you?" I laugh. "Okay, Isaac. I'm not your girlfriend or anything, no need to tell me."
"It's nothing, chill out, ash." He says and I get up, putting my bag straps on my shoulders and grabbing my keys from my pocket.
"I'll see you later then." I say, giving him a quick hug and walking out. He doesn't chase after me and it shocks me somewhat but I didn't expect it.
Maybe this is it. This is where I lose him and the rest of them. I knew they wouldn't stay long. No one wants to be friends with someone like me. If I'm not stable enough to have a relationship, how am I supposed to keep friends? I don't. I'm the loner, the one who hardly has anyone. Ever.
I get in the car and sit there for a second. Should I cry? Should I go back in and ask him to forgive me? I don't want to beg anyone to stay with me if they don't want to. So, instead, I turn the car on and buckle up.
I pull out and just drive around for awhile. Maybe I'll get lost and no one will care for me and everyone will be happy. That'd be okay. I hope my dad is home, I need to spend time with someone who isn't so close with Isaac.
~~~
I pull into my driveway and thank God that my dad's car is here. I get out of the car and run inside. I yell out for my dad but get no reply. I decide maybe he's in the bathroom and I knock, no answer. I finally walk into the kitchen and see a note. Of course he's not actually home, why're you so stupid, Ashlyn? I don't know why I look forward to things anymore.
"Out with some business people. Be home around 10! Love you."
Great, another day home alone. I decide to shower. I lock the doors and head up to my bedroom. I find sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt to put on and go to the bathroom. Turning on the hot water, I stand there. Waiting for it to get warm and once I'm in the shower, I just stand under the hot water.
It makes me feel better, less stressed out. That's all I seem to be anymore. I then hurry up and get out. Wanting to lay down and just watch random movies. I get dressed, brush my teeth and then my hair and head to my bedroom. I turn my tv on and find something to watch, then grab my phone.
I text Isaac and tell him I'm sorry for earlier. He reads the message and doesn't reply. Okay then.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WhATTTTTT HELLO FRIENDS ILY ALL SO MUCH *heart eyes 4ever*
!!!!!!PLEASE VOTE!!!!!!!
