Date A Invader (Badass Male reader x Date a Live)

Chapter 31 - Loud morning

"Y/N, it's time to wake up!" Shiori walked into his room and frooze in place surprised.

Y/N and Cloaker were siting on the bed playing gwent. Empty shots of adrenaline and snacks were laying around them.

"The hell are you guys doing?" Shiori said angered "I'm not cleaning that up!"

"Yeah, whatever..." Y/N answered without looking at her "We still have game to finish"

"Screw you too!" Pissed Shiori walked outside and slammed the door behind her.

"I think she has pereoids..." Cloaker commented while looking at his cards.

"She has pereoids everyday" Y/N said.

"I heard that!" They heard angry Shiori on the stairs.

"Good for you!" Y/N shouted.

"You should do some selection for wife material..." Cloaker said and used frost card "...Learn from my mistakes, I once picked up wrong one and I'm regretting that decision to this day"

"You should become homosexual..." Y/N said while placing Nifgard soldier card "...No risk in having fun, plus this would fit your beating up fetish"

"...How about you try it?!" They again heard Shiori's voice.

"No thank you!" Y/N shouted back at her "I'm too straight for this!"

"...I actually do that to let some steam off..." Cloaker explained "My wife keeps pissing me off. She bought two cars and keep insisting to use mine"

"Why don't you just break the marriage?" Y/N looked at him.

"I can't..." Cloaker sighed "...I'm always at work, so court will give my daughter to her..."

"Accualy, this could be arranged" Y/N smiled "Do you have anyone to became your new wife?"

"Well... There is one paramedic I keep meeting at health check ups in job. She's a nice person and single, we once even drinked in the bar..." Cloaker looked at him suspicious "...And how you could make this work?"

"I know a good lawyer that can make impossible, possible..." Y/N started

"...And his first name is Bribery?" Cloaker finished.

"Damit everyone! You keep setting things up behind my back!" Once again they heard angry Shiori.

"For a b*th, she can hear pretty good!" Cloaker joked, making Y/N laugh.

"Yeah, I was kinda wondering how she can hear us" Y/N said while laughing "And no, it's not bribery or something that breaks the law. So you can rest assured and happy with your new wife and daughter"

"And what if new one turns out to be the same?"

"Just put bullet in her head and report that she was trying to rob a bank or something. Evidences can be faked easily, but now..." Y/N pulled his last card "...Let's end this!"

Meanwhile downstairs, angry Shiori was shouting at other girls.

"Why you want go on christmas date behind my back?!" Shiori shouted.

"Because you keep ruining things sis!" Mana answered "Why you keep doing this?!"

"I can't leave that trigger happy idiot alone! Especially with someone who would allow him to do almost everything!" Shiori blushed.

"Concerns. Everything will be overseen by Kotori and everyone will get a chance. So why you act like you don't have any chances with us?" Yuzuru pointed finger at her.

"B-because..." Shiori face became red as she tried to find answer.

"Why the hell is so damn loud at the morning?" Y/N walked into kitchen, already wearing school uniform "If you plan to start new world war, then go outside"

"Y/N!" Everyone turned to him at the same time "You need pick someone to go with to christmas festival!"

"Excellent!" Y/N smiled "What a perfect occasion to become gay and show it to everyone!"

Everyone jaws dropped and the looked at him in disbelief, while he started laughing.

"You should totally see that look on your faces!" Y/N said.

"Y/N..." Angry girls, except for Tohka and Kotori who stepped aside, said in union and pulled out their weapons.

"Oh?" Y/N smiled and spreaded out his arms "You're approaching me?"

"We can't beat the crap out of you for almost giving us a heart atack without getting close!" Natsumi answered at pointed her broom at him.

"Very well, aproach me as much you like. I commend your courage, but not your stupidity" Y/N said with provoking tone.

"Get him!" Mana shouted and they rushed at him.

Before they know it, they droped on floor unconscious.

"Pathetic!" Y/N looked down on them "Now I'm feeling like asshole because you couldn't put up a proper fight for sake of this roleplay!"

"That was quicker than I though" Kotori commented while Tohka handed over money to her.

"Tohka, did you bet against me?" Y/N looked in her eyes.

"Yeah, I though they can win judging from previous fights" Tohka sighed "Now half of my monthly allowance is gone..."

"They didn't even deployed their astral dress you moron! How could they win like that?" Y/N scolded her.

"I know, I know..." Tohka answered "No hard feelings, okay?"

"As long you don't do that again, I won't hold a grudge against you" Y/N said and suddenly looked around "Wait, where's Miku?"

"She lives in her house you moron" Kotori answered.

"With that attitude and red hair of yours, you look like you have pereoids upside down" Y/N commented.

"Do you want to start a war with me?!" Kotori shouted with face red from anger.

"You aren't strong enough to suck my co*k, let alone vage a proper war against me. You're a toxic little f*ck who can't even walk, while I can take over this world without moving my ass from this spot and enslave whole humanity for eternity. I took down a ride like yours and stole their fridge on the way out. While you were in elementary school, I was resurrected from the dead, beat the sh*t out of beings that could singlehandedly whipe out nations on this planet and pissed on old gods will as I absorbed the first flame and became new overlord of mine world with army of immortal beings to my disposal. You live because I allows you, you take a sh*t because I didn't ordered you otherwise. I could rape whole world with you on top of it and purge it into darkness, and nobody could stop me from doing so. So why don't you just chill the f*ck out before I'll pull out my abyss-f*cking-flames and shove it up your virgin ass so hard, that your breath will smell like Artorias shoe polish. I'm gonna rekt your sh*t so hard, that your mental trauma will transcend any degree and definition of PTSD this world bas ever seen. Then I'm going to bang your beloved sister right in front of you and make her scream for more, so I can see your shocked face as I became your new family!"

Y/N then walked to front doors and put on his coat, while Tohka and Kotori were staring dumbfounded.

"Tell other girls I'll catch up to them after I resupply my ammo and finish some buisness. Have a great day!" Y/N walked outside and closed the doors behind him.

[Sorry for lack of updates, but I'm bit sick now and I'll be working on water power plant for some time. So expect less frequent updates and more frequent power outages]