Safe Space

Ever The Watchful Eye

"What are you losers up to?"

Katsuki's friends have never actually been good at subtlety. Not even a little bit. Not even the tiniest of bits. He's even pointed it out several times within the last few years. He doesn't understand why they still try---especially Deku who has incredibly obvious tells. The only one or two of them who might be able to get away with pulling a fast one on him would probably be Kyouka and Shoji.

Both of which are absent.

"Kacchan, why do you always think someone is plotting something against you? Why can't you ever just be quiet and take compliments and enjoy life and whatever else shit kids are into these days?" Izuku counters---an obvious deflection to throw off the responsibility of actually having to give him a straight answer. The freckled boy is so smart that he's actually stupid sometimes---an admirable trait but also one that's easy to exploit.

"Really? So your spontaneous insistence that you treat me to lunch the moment after my idiot boyfriend pulls you to the side and whispers in your ear has no correlation at all?"

"Precisely."

"Right. In that case I might as well have a dick growing out of my forehead."

"To be fair, you came pretty close to that freshman year."

"Fuck you, shitty Deku. And what the hell do you know, Round Face?"

Ochako just shrugs nervously as they walk, artfully glancing around for some way to draw the attention away from the subject matter.

"You'd think someone who's been offered a free meal would shut the fuck up about it." Hitoshi comments from Katsuki's side. The blonde kicks him at the heel and the purple teen hisses before reaching out to hit him back and before they know it, they're playing hit-tag right on the sidewalk. Izuku thinks to himself that if Katsuki was really all that smart, he'd be able to tell that that was an obvious distraction, too.

Guess that makes three people on that list.

"Ow, my tit! Did you just pinch my nipple?!"

"Purple nurple. Never fails." 

Izuku snorts in laughter. "Did you just call a titty twister a purple nurple?"

"Mind your business, freckles."

"Whatever you say, Frankenstein."

"Weak. That all you got, Turbo Twink?"

Izuku's hand flies to his chest in genuine offense. "Rude! How dare you!" He's not a twink, he doesn't give a shit what the internet says!

"Twink is offensive to you? Fine, how 'bout Bottom Boy."

"I don't like that either."

"Really? Kirishima says you're the bottom."

"I'm an experience."

"Bitch, just say bottom." Katsuki snickers and Izuku turns bright red in the face. "Shut up. I wouldn't bottom for just anybody, you know. There are some situations where I know I'd be a definite top."

"Like? Who would actually let your cute little butt dominate them like that, Deku?" Ochako asks, also chortling because she can't imagine Izuku being anything that isn't a slutty bottom from the stories she's heard.

"Kacchan."

Katsuki chokes on his own spit, beating on his chest when it genuinely becomes difficult to right himself but Izuku just keeps on talking as he shrewdly ignores the sounds of Katsuki's distress.