Stay With Me

Finding Myself

After being on total week on antidepressants along with several medication, Baekhyun is stable now . Chanyeol was always here to take care of Baekhyun. Kai and Kyungsoo has taken Chanyeol's presence normal, they are just waiting to know about Baekhyun's decision.

Sehun has come here several times. He has apologised to Baekhyun saying he wasn't in his right mind after hearing Baekhyun was comparing him with Chanyeol. He has also requested Baekhyun to continue the relationship with him. But Baekhyun's reply was just,

"No, thanks..."

Baekhyun was just leaning on the bed,when Chanyeol enters to follow up his condition. These past days, Baekhyun was always on sleep or in subconscious when Chanyeol used to come . These medications were just to prevent Baekhyun from taking stress.

"Are you feeling bit well now, Baek?" Chanyeol stands Beside the bed of Baekhyun.

"Yeah," Baekhyun replies  shortly while still staring at the wall Infront, without looking at Chanyeol.

"Don't give pressure on yourself. Just relax, okay? When you will move on our home?"

"Why I will move on your home?" Baekhyun replies in same tone.

"That's your real home," Chanyeol doesn't know what to reply on it.

" What do you think myself , Chanyeol? I will go back after what have happened ? Why you are suddenly interested to take me back?"Baekhyun says looking at Chanyeol's eyes.

Chanyeol sighs and says," Kai and Kyungsoo, right?  They are again manipulating your thinking about me. Baek,listen to me first."

"What to listen when I can remember everything from myself?...You.... The night... The girl with you.... The accident... The pathetic me."

"Don't misunderstand me. Are you still angry on me? She was just my colleague and friend, nothing else. It just happened suddenly. I am so sorry for being irresponsible on you that day.  I swear she was nothing else. If I ever knew only because of her presence the situation would be such different, then I wouldn't even glimpse on her shadow. "

" Only she?... Nothing else?.... What were you to me those days, Chanyeol? No...no...just reverse the question.... What was I to you those days?.... Everything between us just ended that day. The end was predictable from earlier. I was just foolish to hope. It's better not to go back to that pathetic  life that I have left behind."

" Do you also think like others it was me for whom all those happened to you? For the god sake, Baekhyun ,you are the only one whom I loved and love. I could never imagine something terrible like that could happen to you that night. I am sorry for not being responsible and as I couldn't protect you. Give me a last chance to prove myself."

"I am not blaming you for anything. All faults are in myself. I was foolish to expect even when someone didn't even care for me. It was my fault to trust others blindly. May be I would learn to take everything easily and not to make myself cheap to others. I would stop hoping and would start to live with just myself,I wasn't alone anymore that time. It was better just to leave that time . If I could learn these,I could at least save the babies. I don't regret for anything that happened to me . But I regret that I couldn't save them," Baekhyun wipes the tears that was about to fall from his eyes.  Baekhyun continues,"You would never know that feeling that I had after I got known about their existence in myself. How would you know you were busy to get what you needed? You got what you needed and I lost what I wanted."

"Baekhyun,Do you think you are the only one who have suffered for that? It happened with you ,but I was the only one with those memories. The babies were my parts too . I can never forgive myself as I wasn't enough to save our unborn babies and you. I couldn't express my feelings to you,but what you are thinking that's not right. It's okay if you want to blame me. But please, don't hurt yourself. I was the one for whom our life got messed up. "

"I don't want those memories to haunt me back. Let me go. That's my decision," Baekhyun comes to conclusion.

"What! I won't let you go. Baekhyun,we are married."

"Give me divorce. I will send you papers ."

"For the god sake, don't say like this ever. Can you really remember anything about us , Baek? Or your family. .....," Chanyeol feels he's gonna stop taking breathe.

"That's my decision. I want divorce,"Baekhyun says in stern voice .

" For that misunderstanding you are going to end our relationship? Is that really you, Baek? " Chanyeol says in anxious voice. Right now he can't believe what Baekhyun is saying.

" Yes, it's me. Byun Baekhyun... To you that's mere misunderstanding or accident.... But to me that's a nightmare of which every single part I want to erase from my memory," Baekhyun replies in totally normal voice.

"Take some times before taking such terrible decision. I can prove myself to you that I was honest from my side to you," Chanyeol hopes this can turn Baekhyun.

"My decision won't change," Baekhyun remains stick to his decision.

"Are you leaving me because of Sehun?"

"I don't want anyone of you," Baekhyun gives a sad smile. Baekhyun doesn't want either Chanyeol or Sehun. Baekhyun just want to find himself.

         ***************************

After attending a messed up OSPE exam ,I am in chilling-killing mood...

Sorry,if the episode makes you feel bad.... But I wanna say, be patient only for next 10 episodes..... The ff still have almost 10-15 episodes unwritten yet.... Among them there's 3 mega twistssss.... So,just wait a little bit more...

May be I will end this one very soon..... It's getting lengthy too much... I don't want my readers to get bored,but I know they are already bored😢😢😢...

Check the promo of "Love in the air" ff.... 😉.... I hope after this ff,still you guys will be with me.... I am afraid to end this ff😭,then I will miss you guys😢...

Btw ..... keep me in Prayer for my Viva exam..... It's gonna be a great war...

Vote and comment,if you like this episode....

Stay well.... Love you ,guys❤️❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘😘😘