Dear Jacob [RENESMEE CULLEN]

5

NOW

Renesmee and her friends are in McDonald's, munching on chicken nuggets and toasts, discussing the latest news from school. The school year has begun about two weeks ago, alas the students are already bombarded with homework and pressured to perform well on their first exams in October.

"Guys, do you have any ideas for the homework? I don't know who to write to," one of her friends complains. It's easy for all of them. They haven't gone through what Renesmee has had to. They haven't cried my tears, they haven't felt my pain, as she likes to say to herself.

Another of her friends has planned to address their letter to their deceased grandpa, believing they can express themselves better. That has the young hybrid thinking. If she writes her letter to Jacob, does that mean she can send it to him? Of course, she can. But is it worth it?

Part of her wants to scribble something on the sheet of paper and get over it with a good mark. Another part of her knows more than everybody else does. She is sure her teacher wants Renesmee to open up and to be honest with herself and everyone. Lies destroy relationships. And so do secrets. But aren't secrets supposed to be kept? Or was it promises? Renesmee believes it's the same for both cases. Promises and secrets exist to be kept. Jacob broke a promise.

The birthday girl tries to get in the mood and to cheer up for the sake of her friends. So when she is asked who she is going to address her letter to, she proudly declares that she will send hers to her grandfather back in Forks.

Wyatt doesn't buy her lie. While he has known her for two years, he isn't stupid. Sometimes he wonders how come everybody else brushes it off. If he confronts Renesmee, she will make up something on the spot, as she usually does. Despite her therapy and medicines, she is still on the road to full recovery and feels uncomfortable speaking about Jacob and his betrayal, even to her friends. If they knew, they would have thought she didn't trust them enough. And maybe that's the case. Once your heart has been broken, it takes time to heal.

A sugary smile appears on Wyatt's face too as he shifts his focus back to the conversation. He already knows who he is going to write to. And he insists on keeping it a secret.

Renesmee's birthday has gone well - better than she has expected. Alas, it's still difficult for her to feel happy for herself. Medicines and therapy sometimes aren't enough.

When she comes back home, she is greeted with more presents, as if her hands aren't full of them already. She is grateful for everything she has received, but fancy clothes and cash can never replace the happiness from her childhood.

After unwrapping her gifts with the help of her family and the annual photo they take, a tradition started on Renesmee's first birthday, the young girl is about to go to bed when she is stopped from her uncle Jasper.

"Can I talk to you in private?", he smiles at her.

Renesmee wants to say no. At the same time, she feels like she can confide in her uncle. He has been her therapist for quite some time. She feels like she can tell him anything. Besides, he is an empath. He is perfectly aware of his niece's emotions. So this conversation will feel pointless to her.

She sits in the armchair in the cabinet and slouches, her eyes never leaving her uncle's. "You know how I feel. I don't understand why are we here."

Her uncle shyly smiles at her. "I may know, but you need to speak. God has given you a voice and you have to use it. You can't rely on your supernatural origins forever, can you?"

Renesmee's eyes avert to her shoes. Indeed, her uncle is right. And she hates that. She is always told to use her voice by activists and adults. But how? How to speak up when she is afraid of rejection, humiliation and betrayal?

She begins playing with her fingers and suddenly she feels afraid to look up from her own hands. She knows she has to open her mouth and say something, but nothing can come out.

"You know, Renesmee? I can see it's difficult for you to communicate with me right now. And I can understand you. But why not finally try to put these feelings on a paper?", he tells her before wishing her goodnight and heading back to his shared bedroom with Alice.

Laying on her bed, the young hybrid wishes nothing but to have a good year ahead of her and to finally let go of her past. Perhaps she should listen to her uncle's advice?