𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙩

xii.

author's note ⤵︎
3.58k reads??? THATS INSANE OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH😭😭
also i wanted to write something that showed josh's feelings and thoughts so there's no mattia pov :)

alexia ⤵︎
i spent the night at josh's. he was still asleep but i didn't sleep at all, i couldn't after what happened tonight with mattia. i felt like trash, it's like i cheated on josh even though we're not dating.

"good morning" josh said with his eyes closed. he moved his body and embraced mine, bringing me closer to him in a cuddle position. i caressed his face and he placed a soft kiss on my jaw and i smiled.

he didn't deserve this. he didn't deserve anything but love and happiness.

"you look beautiful" he said looking at my eyes. he kissed my forehead.

why do i keep doing this to him? he's just pure love. i feel so sorry for him.

"we should get out of bed" i said and josh rolled his eyes.

"or..." he tickled me and i couldn't stand the laughter. "we can stay here all day enjoying each other's company"

"okay, okay" i said. "you win"

"i always win, baby" he said winking at me. i rolled my eyes with a smile on my face.

he called me baby again. it's too much for me, he deserves to know the truth but i can't do it, not right now. i just don't get why i keep falling for mattia's games every time!

imessage convo w mattia

mattia
we should hang out tonight

alexia
no we shouldn't

mattia
stop playing hard to get mi amor

alexia
don't call me that

mattia
see you tonight mi amor
read

josh came out of the shower with with a towel curled around his waist. i was almost drooling, gosh, how can someone be that fine?

josh laughed. "you're drooling" he said getting closer to me. he smirked when he noticed how red my face was getting. "you're so cute" he laughed.

he grabbed some clothes and returned to the bathroom, once he got out he was dress. sadly.

josh ⤵︎

alexia convinced me to go out. and by go out i mean she dragged me to her house so she could see her dogs with the excuse of wanting to change clothes, thing that she didn't do cuz she still wearing my hoodie.

"i think cream is in love with you" alexia said laughing. she was wearing a messy bun and i know she didn't asleep at all, i noticed the bags under her eyes, but she still being the most beautiful girl i've ever seen.

i wish you were in love with me too, i thought.

"hey um... alexia?" i said, i wasn't sure if i should do this but i really wanted an answer.

"hmm?" he said, still playing with her dog without even looking at me.

i sat down next to her and he looked at me. "i know this might fuck up everything but umm... what are we?"

her face changed immediately. fuck, why did i asked that? she looked like she was about to dump me right now and i was so fucking scared of her wanting to cut things off.

"i don't know" she finally said. "what are we?" did she just pulled a reverse uno card on me?

"we don't need to put a label on whatever this is" she said. "we're okay like this, right?"

i want you to be my fucking girlfriend, i thought.

"hey come on, josh" she said, grabbing my face and making me look at her. "it's not that big of a deal"

of course it's not for her. she could have anyone, literally anyone. she's so pretty, on the inside and the outside. she brings happiness, pure love; she's someone who will light your world up with her bright and perfect smile.

"i want you to be my girlfriend, alexia" i said. "i'm tired of acting like a couple but not being one. i really want you, alexia, and the thought of you with somebody else hurts me so bad" she looked at me, in silence.

"i know i'm not the best thing that happened to you, but you're the best thing that happened to me in a very long time" she smiled. "i don't want to be with anyone but you"

i looked at her in the eyes, alexia was smiling. "alexia i re-" she put her finger on my lips, not letting me talk

"shut up" she said and kissed me. i don't know what that means or what i mean to her, but i couldn't resist the temptation of her lips on mine.

i couldn't resist her.