The Spare To The Throne

Chapter 24: Deep Talks & Vulnerable Touches

"I was born and raised in France. But I didn't grow up blessed with the simple things."

I furrow my brows. Was he talking about money? I wouldn't be able to tell that he ever grew up unfortunate. But I guess the pass didn't define him, it doesn't define anyone for that matter.

"I'm not referring to money," he remarks as if reading my thoughts. "I admit, I was a very fortunate kid growing up. I had what most didn't. But when I say blessed by the simple things, I mean family. We were always together, but I felt-" he pauses. "Like I didn't belong."

I turn to him and study his face. In the eerie darkness of the night, the silvery glow of the moon reflects on us both.

"For twenty years, I've tried to understand what it was that I was lacking. As a son, and as a brother. As an advocate for my country." He whispers the last part, and I sense pain his voice.

"What did my parents see in me, that made them not want me." He asks, but the question sounds more directed to himself, rather than me.

Something in me breaks. Who would ever reject Xavier, yes he was vicious, but as a child, who would turn him away.

"Are you adopted?" I ask, becoming curious.

He chuckles, finding my question comical. And there was that smile again. The smile that made him not so dangerous. I smile too, not knowing why.

"No baby, I'm not adopted."

He continues.

"It was my brother they loved the most. We both had so many responsibilities to live up to. So much weighing on our shoulders. And my parents were hard on us, but mostly on me. They told me that I was different, my mom especially. Although we lived under the same roof, we would rarely see each other or be around each other. And the times we managed to be in the same room, she wouldn't look at me. I felt like I disappointed her somehow. Since the day I was born, I disappointed her." His voice cracks and I could tell this was a touchy subject for him.

"One day, our house was on lockdown. It was the blackguards again. They had managed to breach through our security. I was around ten years old at the time, my older brother was maybe twelve or thirteen. We were in one of our living rooms with my mother and father. The sound of a sniping gun fires somewhere, but I couldn't tell where or why. Suddenly a maid walking past drops dead. But she wasn't just any maid. She was Danielle. She was one of my favorite workers at the time," he sighs, probably not wanting to think about it. "Danielle took up the role that my mother refused to do. She cared for me," he spoke softly and I could tell he was genuinely hurt.

"Xavier, you don't have to-"

"Her body fell instantly, her eyes wide open, the silver platters she was carrying at the time crashed to the floor, breaking in pieces. I thought I was imagining what I was seeing. Her head leaked blood, like a tap gushing water. She was the very first dead body I ever saw. But that wasn't what scarred me. My parents instantly knew what was going on and my dad runs to fetch our guards while ordering my mom to take us to the house bunker. It was now me, my brother, and my mom left. We began to run through the halls of our house, trying to reach the safety of our family bunker. At one point, my mom picked up my older brother Alex. I was so scared, trailing behind them. I don't know what happened next, one minute I was running, the next minute I fell onto the floor, losing balance. I yell out for my mother who stops with Alex still in her hands. She turns around slowly and our eyes meet. I remember begging for her. Blackguard's footsteps were now approaching from all directions, and they were getting close. My mother shakes her head no. I was so confused. Why wasn't she running back to help me? It was a sign of rejection. She didn't want me. And so she turns around with my older brother still in her arms. Alex yelled for her to stop that day. He thrashed and kicked in her hold. His small hands reached out for me, but he couldn't help. I had hit my knee, hard and couldn't stand." he stops talking.