ᗪOᑎ'T TOᑌᑕᕼ ᗰY ᗩᒪᑭᕼᗩ

Friendship

Izuku Midoriya 

(Self Deprecation) 

Blinking my eyes, I pulled myself out of my sated slumber. The room was pleasantly cool on my limps that were splayed out from under the silk sheets. The parts of me under the duvet were warm and cozy. My body was heavy with sleep; I didn't want to move from the soft cocoon I made for myself. However, after a few blinks and a much-needed stretch, I lifted my head from the pillows to look around. Memories came flooding back.

I was shocked but that was to be expected. I wasn't shocked about the sex -- although a part of me felt different after the act. I was shocked because of something else. Shoto had knotted me and though I had not cared during the moment -- now I was tense all over. I didn't know what I had been expecting. I was willingly having sex with an Alpha while I was in heat. I shouldn't have been mad at him, but I was. 

I was mad at myself but I didn't know why. I had asked for it and I wasn't upset that I slept with him. Shoto was my key to getting better and that made me feel sick. It felt as if I had been using him. It was an idiotic notion really. I wasn't using Shoto. 

Like I used Katsuki.

I shook my head and carded my fingers through my tangled up curls. Kicking my feet over the edge of the bed, I jumped out of bed and winced slightly at the dull throb in my hips. I looked around noticing that the Alpha was nowhere to be found. It was strange for an Alpha to leave an Omega after mating -- and I felt it too. Something inside wasn't sitting right and I quickly slipped into the bathroom and washed up.

I let the hot water wash the sweat and grime off my skin only to stiffen as the proof of last night's mistake leaks from between my thighs. The water washed it away and I scrubbed harder, dipping my fingers inside the sore area to clean myself out. I grimaced and shut the water off before wapping in a towel and moving towards the bedroom again.

Finding clothing to wear had never taken so long before. However, I rummaged through my clothes and even Shoto's before finding something I wanted to wear. I felt off -- my skin was warm to the touch yet I felt no signs of my heat. It was like it vanished after last night. the pain was gone but I was left feeling grimy and heavy, bogged down by something. Guilt maybe?

I clicked my tongue and jerked on a pair of joggers and a hoodie before shuffling downstairs to the kitchen. Shoto was still missing and I felt the need to seek him out after waking up alone. I didn't want last night to ruin our friendship. Although I kept being reminded of the one thing I told him not to do.

He knotted me when I asked him not to. It was a stupid reason to ask him to hold back, honestly. I couldn't avoid getting knotted for the rest of my life just because I thought it would ease my guilt by letting that one thing belong to Katsuki.

It would be inevitable. I was an Omega and Alpha's love knotting us. Sure I could just find some Beta to be with later in life, but I know my biology and Omegan nature would always preen for an Alpha. My Alpha.

Fuck. I shook my head and padded barefoot into the kitchen where I find the missing Alpha. He was sitting at the dining table with a cup of coffee. His hair was tousled out of its normally combed and styled form. He wore his usual nightwear, a loose-fitting t-shirt, and joggers.

His eyes automatically flicked over to me, a look of surprise coating his features before it quickly morphed into concern. I could feel the tension in the air around us but I couldn't find it in myself to care. I was afraid that what we had done would somehow ruin our friendship. I was conflicted. Part of me wanted to scream at him for his lack of self-control. Another part of me wanted to beg for his forgiveness. I should have never asked that of him. It wasn't his job even if he was adopting the role of my Alpha -- he wasn't my Alpha.