The Aurelia⎪✓

{18}

Irenic

(adj.) promoting peace

♡

Ache.

My arms ached, my legs ached, my head ached, everything. Clutching my forehead a strained groan left my lips, it was insane how dry my mouth felt. 

"Aspen? Are you awake?" A woman's panicked voice met my ears. The fogginess refused to leave my mind though, making me unable to focus on who she was exactly. "Please wake up." Trying to open my eyes, they finally fluttered and I could focus on Lilly. She was sitting next to me on my bed, her widened eyes frantically searched mine and she scooted slightly backward, creating distance between her and I. What happened? 

"Why the hell am I nearing death right now?" I rasped at her in question, nothing made sense to me.

"You entered heat, you know, when you've known your mate for too long without sealing the mate bond through hot and passionate se-"

"Yeah, thanks, I get it!" I cut her off, no need to meddle in my non existing sex life. What she said hit me like a train though, my control was gone during those moments and I mentally thanked Arrax for rejecting me. Once you're in heat, you can't control anything, it's only your lust that dominates. "Is he okay?"

She smiled at my question, "Yes, but you aren't." A thick pause as her eyes shifted and turned incredibly confused, "You and I need to talk though."

The seriousness in her tone made me wary, "Should I be nervous?" 

Lilly quickly closed the door before she joined me by the bed again, her eyes wide, almost scared. "I don't think there's an easy way to say this, Asp. I saw your eyes..." 

As the dreaded words left her lips, my heart started pounding in my chest, drowning out every rational thought. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." She couldn't know, it would be the end of me. 

Her apologetic look made it known that she was being honest, "You haven't shifted during your time here, Alpha can't smell you as his mate, and now, during your more than intense heat, you looked at me with those eyes.. As white as snow."

Panic made a bile rise in my throat, my head was pounding, this was all too much, "They must've been white because of the amount of pain I was in."

She shook her head at me, a deep frown apparent on her lips, "You're Aurelia, aren't you?"

This time it was me who created distance, I crawled away from her, as close to the headboard as I could get. "No, hell no! Don't you ever compare me to that monster." 

Lilly came closer to me, nothing but sadness in her eyes, "Aspen, you have to trust me, I haven't told anyone. I know who you are, but I also know that you would never harm anyone. Trust me, just like I choose to trust you." 

My heart skipped a beat, trust is earned and so far she has shown me nothing but how much I really can trust her. I couldn't get myself to say it out loud, it would make things too real and I'd officially expose myself to her, which I for some reason couldn't get myself to do. "I can't..."

"Trust me, Asp."

Her sincere eyes were too much, I wanted to cry and I never cried. My identity had been a secret for all the weeks I'd been here, and now someone finally knew. I believed her when she said she hadn't told anyone, if she had, just as much as one single soul, I'd be dead by now. But still, it was hard to admit my monstrosity to her, I found myself embarrassed by who I was and that was a first. 

Not wanting to dwell on it, I chose to straighten my back and lock my eyes with hers, "Fine. You're right. But none of you all know what that really means, none of you know who I am or what I do. You do realize why I can't come clean to the others, don't you?"

She seemed shocked that I admitted to my dirty little secret, "I completely understand, they hate what you are. But if you say we don't know anything, why don't you enlighten me then?"

Giving her a small smile in appreciation, "An Aurelia is a species of wolf, just like werewolf. It isn't just one person, it's a whole bunch. Or at least it used to be, my pack was slaughtered so I do believe I'm the last one alive." Her widened eyes distracted me momentarily, but I decided to keep going. "None of us wish to hurt others, we were created to be healers and help at all times, but werewolves interpreted us as too powerful, they mistakenly believed we would turn on them and slaughter everyone. Which none of us would have. Therefore they decided to kill us off, I'm the last one, but my name is Aspen, not Aurelia, as you know."

Lilly seemed confused, the only sound in the room her heavy breaths. I hoped she believed me in this, or else I'd have a whole other problem on my hands. "So.." She started, "You're saying that you're basically as strong as Alpha and that if you were to shift right now, your wolf would be golden?"

Nodding at her, "Yes, to both. I've already pushed the physical boundaries with Arrax, since I challenged him and Grant yesterday. If I shifted my fur would be golden and my eyes white, Aurelia means 'the golden one'. We were created to help others, not kill."

"Isn't your wolf insanely strong?"

"She is, yes, she's constantly forcing me to shift, another reason to me being frightened. Some day she'll succeed and I'll shift on territory, they'll be able to smell me in a second." As I explained this to her, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. This really was a huge fear of mine. 

"This is a lot to take in, Aspen. I'm sorry you had to go with it alone, but not anymore." She declared with a small smile. "How is it that Alpha can't smell you, or any of us for that matter?"

Smiling at her in return, "Aurelias can mask their smell, I've done that since I stepped onto your territory."

"That must be exhausting."

Shrugging, "Only if I truly think about it all the time. It's a part of my routine by now, so I can't really feel the tugging anymore."

Her head tilted slightly to the side, "But how did you manage to survive out there all alone? And for how long?"

"I don't even know, I guess luck was on my side for once. As for how long, it has been a lot of years to say the least." Lilly seemed empathetic with my situation and I adored her for it. 

"I'm sorry you had to live through that, Asp. But I'm here now and I trust you, just please confide in me, don't run away."

"I could never." Maybe, at least.