The Aurelia⎪✓

{47}

Nepenthe

(n.) something that can make you forget grief

♡

Looking down at my black dress, I smoothed it out with my hands and tried to keep my emotions at bay. Arrax wanted a memorial for those we'd lost and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty, I had the opportunity to heal them if only I hadn't been so slow. Lilly smacked my arm when she realized I blamed myself, but it wasn't something you could turn off like that. Healing was in my blood and I had to be the best at it, if not for myself then for the safety of the pack at least. 

We were standing in a beautiful open field, I'd never seen it before, but flowers surrounded us and the grass almost seemed too green. A small stage was placed by the end of the field and all the way there Arrax had decided that we should have pictures of everyone we lost, it was such an incredible gesture, but it made reality too real. 

Slowly, pack members started showing up, misery written all across their features. Mothers hugged their kids a little tighter, with silent tears streaming down their faces. It broke my heart knowing that some of them had lost their mates, they'd lost fathers, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters. This was the reality of the war and a bile rose in my throat by the thought of it. 

"Are you okay?" A deep voice asked, his comforting hand snaked around my waist. My eyes met his and I tried not to seem too affected, he wouldn't like me blaming myself and I didn't want to share for that exact reason.

"It's just hard, seeing the horrible sight to a war. This is what we don't consider while we're out there, you know?" I elaborated, tears welling up in my eyes as I heard a woman scream out in pain when she saw the picture of her mate, she fell to her knees and another woman pulled her into a hug. The small whimpers that left her lips reached me and sliced at my heart. 

Arrax pulled my body to his, leaving a small kiss on my temple. "You're right, baby. Do you want to go down there and join them? I think they'd appreciate seeing their Alpha and Luna." He asked, his tone so sincere I only had the courage to nod. 

He led me to the open field, his hand still on my waist pulling me to his side. It was comforting to have him here while facing everyone, they knew what I was now, but no one seemed to mind, not after seeing me fight for them at least. 

Looking at one picture at a time, I sent a small prayer to the Moon Goddess. Hoping a happy after life for the victims and praying that their family will respectfully have them in their heart, but still be able to get past the mourning. 

Tears streamed down my face and I could feel how saddened Arrax was, his emotions so defeated they entered my heart to make it easier for him to cope. This was his pack after all, his responsibility. 

My hand squeezed his on my waist and he momentarily hugged me a little closer, clearly needing the support right now. Once we'd looked at 86 out of the 87 werewolves we lost in the war, my heart completely stopped when I looked at the eighty-seventh werewolf. 

His eyes were so familiar, and an uncontrollable sob left my lips, making me grab my stomach from the stabbing in my gut. No.

"Mommy says he's proud of how strong I was underground, now Daddy's up by the Moon Goddess watching over me." A small voice met my ears, I stepped away from Arrax as I turned around. Willow was standing there, a small smile on her lips while tears were streaming down her reddened cheeks. 

I fell to my knees in front of her, opening my arms. She ran into the embrace and small whimpers left her lips by the comfort, as she hugged me impossibly close. 

Willow's dad was killed. 

I healed him, but he must've been attacked again. Poor girl, she lost the one man she loved like none other, she even boasted about how strong he was before I left them. 

Grabbing her small cheeks in my hands, I looked into her sad eyes, my finger stopping one of her tears from falling. "Willow, your Daddy loves you so, so much. Please don't ever doubt that. I know how proud he was by seeing his strong little girl protecting others down there, you made him so incredibly proud." My words were choked up as my shaky hands brought her into another embrace. 

Feeling a little girl shaking in mourning of her dad in my arms, was the most painful thing I'd ever felt. She was so strong and I'd promised her father to tell her that he loved her, I was certain she knew it already, but she had to know. 

"Your Daddy was so brave, Willow, just like you." I whispered into her curly hair, wanting her to remember her dad as someone brave, because he was. He wasn't afraid. 

A woman approached us from a distance, her eyes filled with so much agony, I immediately knew it was Willow's mom. The thought that she lost her mate crushed me with pain and I picked Willow up from the ground, her arms still hugging me with her head nuzzled into my neck, only to meet her mom. 

Her long hair was fizzled with curls, just like Willow's. Before I knew what I'd done, I hugged her her too. Having both mom and daughter in my arms broke me, they'd lost one of the most precious aspects of their life. 

As we let go, she smiled slightly at me, "I know what you did for him, he linked me and told me that our Luna healed him. Just know that I have so much thankfulness for you in my heart, he didn't come out alive, but his last encounter with another person was a sweet and compassionate Luna. We lost our Henry, but I know how much he appreciated what you did for him, I could feel his heart fill up with happiness." 

Her words helped me so much, the survivors guilt slowly melted away by every word she spoke and I could only bow at her in respect. All of us stayed together when Arrax spoke words of respect, before the relatives to the ones that were killed also took the stand. 

Seeing the heartbreak on their features pained me to extremes, although having Willow in my arms helped a lot. She was an innocent soul and it was such a light in the darkness. I could read on her mom's face that she appreciated me comforting her daughter as well, sometimes the love and support had to come elsewhere than from family and clearly that was what Willow needed right now. 

I was proud to be that for her.