☁11

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Jisung sat on his bed, his gaze fixed on the ripped side of the Minho sketch. He wiped the tears from his cheeks that had already been dried. He sat down at his desk, full of regrets and thoughts, and began writing in his notebook.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry God. I did want to go to heaven but someone already give it to me. He makes me happy and loved...I really do feel awful because I like him but......"

He stopped writing, looking at the written sentence and was thinking if he was really sorry..... why in general he have to apologizes for? As thoughts start spinning, his fingers start touching 'full moon' necklace. Just then his phone rang.

"Y-Yes m-mom?"

"Hey sweetheart how were you doing?"

"Good...."

He said uneasy biting his lower lips.

"..... You sure? Is everything okay? ..."

"Yeah ... I just feel r-really week......"

"Then should dad come to visit and pick you up tomorrow?"

"Ah... n-no .... I will c-come by the t-train .."

"You sure? Honey you thake all your medicine?"

"Yeah I do m-mom....."

"Okay! Okay!....Then see you tomorrow-- !! Can't wait to see you...I missed you so much...!"

"...m-me too .."

Jisung pov.

I hung up and threw myself on the bed, my cheeks heating up as I stared at the blank white ceiling. No, don't tell me I have a fever out nowhere, but, I am not feeling ill. Why am I suddenly happy? I chuckled. My heart was racing...don't tell me...Minho do these things to me? Maybe this is how you feel when you're in love? I can't seem to get him out of my mind. But....but....why did I even start a topic about our kiss in the first place? Ughhh I sholdn't say anything. I even said I'm not into guys .... I'm not .... but ...but...him....

Should I just confess? What if he isn't into guys too? I don't care!....This, this feeling makes me feel so good, It makes me have enough confidence to confess, it makes me happy enough to live on.

Sholud I just tell him "I like you"....like it's nothing..... or.... "I like you very very very much" but what should I do after that?....... I just ......... I just like him ..... Does that mean I want to date him?

I got up from the bed and ran to Minho's room. I bumped into the door, they were locked, so I went down to the living room.

" Honey you lose something?"

" I'm l-l-looking for M-Minho ..."

" He went out with his friends. I don't think he will back soon."

"Oh.... o-okay ... I will b-be in
m-my r-room then...."

"Okay! "

She went back to her work in the kitchen and I returned to my room. I took a notebook and start writing and writing feelings that was burning in me. I had to let go of them, cuz I feel like they keep eating me up, burning my heart alive.

I was losing my time listening to music, drawing something, and being on the phone. Hours and hours passed and Minho did not back home. I looked at the clock and it was one after midnight. I heard someone in the hallway, I immediately got up to look hoping it was Minho but it was just an aunt.

"Oh? You okay honey?"

She asked as she saw me suddenly show up at the door.

"M-Minho s-still didn't b-back?"

"Honey are you still waithing for him?"

I nodded, my face filled with worries.

"His friend texted me, he will be sleeping at their house tonight. They have a party."

I nodded again and was about to go in ny room but.

"You don't have Minho's number?"

I shook my head. She immediately pulled out her phone.

" How's that? Why didn't you tell me ?! What if you need him in hurry? He should give you his number! "

I smiled as she passed me his number. I went back to my room and, as a little kid I stared at my phone typing his name as 'Min-e💗' and giggled.

" I wish.....y-your m-mine ...."

I should confess it as soon as possible, but I'll be returning to Seoul on Sunday. I must be insane for doing this, yet my stupid feelings only feed my desire to do it. I press the green call button, gulping, hoping to hear Minho's voice. My heartbeat was racing with excitement, but as the phone continued to ring, I worried that he wouldn't pick up the call from an unknown number, so I was ready to hang up when someone answered. First I heard was silence on the other end of the phone, followed by a small bump, as if the phone had fallen somewhere.

"....H-H-Hello? ...M-Minho? ... it's Jis--"

I thought I heard something really quiet, but I couldn't identify it. I put a call on the speakerphone so I could hear a little better. What was that?

"..... Ah ..... um ....... ah ....... Minho! ...."

I could hear the slow moving of bed every time a girl let moans. It starlet me but then I get what was happening...

I hung up right away, tears roll down my face as I stared at my phone's black screen. It feel awful. I got out of bed and began packing my belongings for tomorrow. I lay down, trying to block off the ache and noises in my head. I looked up the earliest departure time from Seoul on the internet and booked a ticket right away.


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