October 1, 2019
5:02 A.M.
YOU
HOLY SHIT WTF THERE WAS NO WARNING.
STRAY KIDS EXPLAIN.
JYP EXPLAIN.
UNIVERSE EXPLAIN.
WANGTHEFUCK
What the hELL HAPPENED
YOU
COMEBACK ANNOUNCEMENT
WANGTHEFUCK
excusE ME WHAT
WHEN
HOW
WHY
I'M MAD
HOW THE HELL DID I NOT KNOW
YOU
IMOGEN.
SLEEEEEEP.
IT'S LIKE THREE A.M. THERE!
WANGTHEFUCK
aND?
YOU
YOU DON'T SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THAT?
WANGTHEFUCK
HELL NO. NOT WHEN STRAY KIDS EXISTS.
FENNEC.F.CKER
Imogen, please sleep, baby.
WANGTHEFUCK
How are you not freaking out?
Did you even sEE the trailer?
FENNEC.F.CKER
No. I haven't.
WANGTHEFUCK
gO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW OR YOU'RE SINGLE
YOU
Well damn.
That was harsh.
WANGTHEFUCK
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
It's 12 o'clock there.
It's not like he had to wake up or anything.
CHANGAROO
Who says we didn't just wake up?
YOU
Chris.
It's noon.
Why are you just waking up?
CHANGAROO
Excuse me.
Sleep is important.
HERSYOURRAMEN
Says the idiot who was up until 4 a.m. making music.
CHANGAROO
What?!
I had an idea!
WANGTHEFUCK
You compose music?
That's really cool.
Is there anything you can't do?
KIMFRIEDCHICKEN
No.
HERESYOURRAMEN
No.
FENNEC.F.CKER
No.
DANDYBOI
No.
CHANGAROO
Yes.
Goddammit all of you.
HERESYOURRAMEN
We're just acknowledging the fact that you're perfect, Chris.
Accept our love.
DANDYBOI
Yeah, leave some talent for the rest of us, you little fucker.
FENNEC.F.CKER
Wow.
Do you sEE WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY SKIP IS THE DEVIL.
DANDYBOI
Yes.
FENNEC.F.CKER
HE FINALLY AGREED.
I W I N.
CHANGAROO
Moving swiftly on.
waIT.
SKIP.
KIMFRIEDCHICKEN
You're in for it now.
CHANGAROO
DID YOU JUST SPEAK INFORMALLY.
DANDYBOI
Read at 12:06 a.m.
DANDYBOI
Bye.
YOU
I was so confused for a skinny minute, but then I realised the time zone differences and it made a lot more sense.
WANGTHEFUCK
Mum.
YOU
Yes?
WANGTHEFUCK
Would you like to have a civilised conversation while these testosterone-filled, marker sniffing idiots sort out their differences?
YOU
I would love to, Imogen.
WANGTHEFUCK
Wonderful.
Thank you for being so understanding about the current situation.
YOU
Of course, my dear.
WANGTHEFUCK
Gladly.
May we continue into the conversation?
YOU
Yes ma'am.
WANGTHEFUCK
Incredible.
May we discuss the way Kim Woojin was looKIN FINE AS HELL.
YOU
THAT'S WHAT I WAS ABOUT TO SAY.
WANGTHEFUCK
YES.
AN INTELLECTUAL.
YOU
F
O
R
E
H
E
A
D
WANGTHEFUCK
MY POINT EXACTLY.
YOU
I'M NOT A HOE, BUT UNDERCUTS AND FOREHEADS CAN CALL ME WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT.
AS CAN KIM WOOJIN WITH HIS TINY ASS WAIST AND STUNNING VISUALS.
WANGTHEFUCK
AND IT'S CALLED DOUBLE KNOT.
DOES THIS MEAN IT'S A REMAKE OF DOUBLE KNOT?
YOU
LiKe mAytE, sToP PrOcRasTiNaTiNg.
WANGTHEFUCK
PaPiLLoN
PaPiLLoN
U ToLd mE tO dO iT LiKe PaPiLLon
HERESYOURRAMEN
dOubLe KnOt On mY yEeZyS
WANGTHEFUCK
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, LIAM.
FENNEC.F.CKER
I heard that.
WANGTHEFUCK
fUQ.
CHANGAROO
How the hell was any of the above civil?
YOU
You're asking the wrong person, Chris.
CHANGAROO
Fair.
YOU
I should probably wake Addie and Lia up.
They've got work today, so I'm the only one up.
But they're gonna kill me for not letting them see the teaser.
If I don't reply, that's why.
hEY. That rHyMeD
HERESYOURRAMEN
thAT RHYMED
CHANGAROO
I'm so done with my kids sharing one total braincell.
YOU
Pray for me.
I'm going in.
I'm waking the monsters.
WANGTHEFUCK
Stay strong, my kiwiboo mum.
I shall sleep now.
Bai bai.
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