The Sacrifice: Fallen | Loki | Book 2

Chapter 9: Abyss

(Caroline's P.O.V.)

After our little conversation on the bench, Tom began showing me our wedding album. Every photo was telling a story, and despite this being a testimony of happiness, my mood was saddening with every page. I didn't remember those happy times. 

There were photos with Tom next to me, an arm around my waist, with Tom behind me, with Tom carrying me, with Tom dancing with me...  Oh, yes, apparently someone took a bunch of photos while we weren't looking. I loved the natural pictures the most, those where we weren't looking.

I found out that Loki had attended our wedding, too. There were even a few pictures of all the three of us next to each other. They were neatly and carefully glued to the thick, cream-coloured pages. In the end, after the last page, I found a loose photo. 

There was me, of course in my shiny wedding gown, in the arms of Loki. A mask was in my hand and I was staring at his face, irritatedly, disbelievingly. I couldn't believe Xenia even had managed to capture me in this moment. I remembered none of all this.

There were three things I was deadly sure of. Firstly, and this was proven beyond doubt, I had loved Tom. Secondly, I had been more than happy with him. And lastly... I had no idea how Loki felt about all this, and secretly feared the worst. 

Tom would always comment on the photos, telling me exactly what we were doing, how I looked, how he felt. I lost count of how many times he said 'beautiful'.  He talked and talked without interruption, hastily an desperately, as if I was to be ripped away from him any moment. As if we didn't have any time left. But I was here, he was here -  

It was Loki, he wasn't going out of my mind. I always found myself thinking about his mysterious character and all the secrets he kept - I knew he did. This was one of the most grotesque differences between them.

I could read Tom, I knew he always told me everything.  

In contrast to him, Loki was always the incarnation of mystery.  I couldn't tell if he meant what he said,  if he was withholding something from me. And I was afraid of the unknown, I needed to know what was happening around me, especially in my miserable situation. 

I saw Loki through a water fall. Everything was blurred and unsure. There was this desire to break through, but at the same time, the fear of looking into his abyss and falling in. How long was it going to take until I discovered something I didn't want to see?

We went back to the car when our limbs grew stiff and sore from the hard bench.

"Where are we going now?"  I asked Tom, torn between the desire to be with him and to be with Loki.

"We can go wherever you want, darling." There was it again, this sweet smile of his. It was wonderful, refreshing. Loki had it, too, but he didn't show it to me nearly as often as Tom.

"Actually, it's getting late and I don't want Loki to worry about me - "

"Loki?" Tom closed the car door he had just opened and turned back to me. "Since when is he your guardian? I am pretty sure you are allowed to be with you husband as long as you want." 

"Um..." Well, there was no arguing with this logic. And to be honest, I did want to stay with Tom. "If you think so, why don't you show me our house?" 

Enthusiasm was in my voice. He smiled immediately, and I was pleased with pleasing him. 

"Your wish is my command."  He replied and leaned in to kiss me. I backed away reflexively, embarrassed. He instantly realised what he did and apologised.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" He raised his hands to his face." I- it's a bad habit, please forgive me." 

"Is it?"  I smirked. His face was crimson red, I wasn't sure if he had caught on.