The Sacrifice: Fallen | Loki | Book 2

Chapter 22: Pain

(Caroline's P.O.V.)

My name is Caroline Irene Adlers, only child born to Eliana and Léon, I'm a doctor, I lived with Xenia Ivanova, we took in the banished prince Loki of Asgard, who was stripped of his memories. We called him -

The locks on the gate rattled, the hinges shook, I wanted to advance. I was close, I felt the biting cold of what lied beyond as I put my hands on the gate and pushed. The memories seeped from the gap to my feet.

Of course. After Loki died to save me from Sigyn, this other man could live. We married, and Loki came back. We lived together. Loki suffered, but wouldn't open up about it, it accumulated inside of him. I crashed, forgot about the other man, couldn't walk. Loki healed me, was there for me. But he kept suffering. Calamity stroke, he became worse and worse, and one day -

Fire.

I stopped pushing. So much only seeped through the gate, there was still a dark, nightmarish truth beyond. I felt it in my bones, and everyone knew. Except me. I had to open the gates so I could one day be warm again, but the locks were frozen.

How could a name be so hard to remember - it was tormenting. Whenever I thought of him and Loki, only the word gemini came to my mind. But they weren't twins, there was too much bad blood between them. Loki had killed this man - he told me so. But this man was alive, Loki had lied.

The bond between me and this man was undeniable. Not because of our marriage, a ring or anything he could have told me. It was something much stronger, I felt it clearly. I believed it to be our love, which had persevered through everything. I had apparently lost parts of memory twice - once by accident, once by...

"Trauma." Edward's voice sounded, he stood in the door.

"What do you mean?"

"Your memories." He repeated and came to sit down opposite me. "You lost them the first time due to neurological damage after a car crash. This time, it's trauma. You mustn't blame yourself - it happens to the best of us."

"I'm mental." I concluded.

"You're a survivor." He corrected. "And a demi-goddess, it's a blessing I can't assume for myself."

"I should be the most powerful I ever was, and yet I feel weak. Weak and damaged."

"Weak." Edward scoffed. I had lowered my gaze, picking at my hands. "How many do you think go through what you had and come out like this? At this point I'm thankful."

"Thankful." I repeated lower, contemplating this perspective. "Yes, I'm thankful to be alive, with all of you around me."

And I endangered all of them, too.

"What would you have us do, Caroline? People fight for the ones they love, what a ridiculous thought that was."

He had raised his voice, it was sharp and cut like daggers. I was taken aback by his reaction, not necessarily hurt, but not knowing how to react. I stared at him silently, until he sighed.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude." Edward said remorsefully. He knelt in front of me, I gasped. I had seen this somewhere, Loki had knelt like this, apologetically like this, before he transformed me.

Only a little part of my mind listened to Edward, the major rest was processing what déjà-vu just hit me.

"I'm of no psychiatric use in that sense, but if I have explored your mind correctly... you need to allow the memory to come freely. You're tense, cramped, tied up in knots - this will not work like that. Have some rest."