Until You Say It [Completed]

Kabanata 4

Nang matapos agad ang klase ay agad akong nagtungo sa building nila Yshara, ilang reklamo ang narinig ko kay Jordan bago ako umalis. Ayaw magpa-iwan ng loko.

She is so focused in answering probably a general mathematics quiz flashed through a PowerPoint presentation. Sumandal ako sa dingding katabi ng pinto ng kanilang classroom. Hindi ko napansin na palabas na pala siya kaya pareho kaming nagkatitigan, siya nasa may pinto habang ako ay nakasandal pa rin sa may dingding.

"You didn't say you'll be here today." Aniya sa isang sign language. I see how she struggles with her shoulder bag while doing it. Paulit-ulit na bumabagsak mula sa balikat pababa sa may siko niya habang nagmu-muwestra siya ng mga salita. "I mean you aren't at the cafeteria, so I just thought you might not be seeing me today." Napangiti ako. She frowned , clueless of what I'm thinking now.

"Give me your bag." Umiling siya. I knew she will refuse. "I insist, I wanted to talk to you more without having this burden with you," kinuha ko ang kanyang bag. Natitigilan ang mga taong nakakapansin sa aming dalawa.

"Girl, wala na, may nililigawan na," rinig ko ang himutok ng babaeng nakasalubong namin. Nag-angat ng tingin sa akin si Yshara habang naglalakad kami. She just stared blankly at me. Nagkibit-balikat ako. "Don't mind her." Ani ko sa kanya.

"Correct them if they think you're courting me," she looks reluctant while doing that sign language.

"Okay. If that's what you want." Malamyos kong sabi sa kanya, tila alipin sa gusto niyang mangyari. Ngumiti ako sa kanya. I saw a ghost of smile from her face. I'd like to know what's keeping her to give the same smile at me. "I brought my McLaren. You can tell your driver that I'm taking you home, just if...if it's fine with you," hindi siya nagsalita. I fist my hands, natatakot na baka may mali akong nasabi.

"Okay." One of the basic sign languages I've learned from Teacher Abby. Bagamat hindi pa pulido ang mga nalalaman ko sa sign language ay walang weekend akong sinayang upang matuto nang mas maigi.

"Uh...and if you'd like to have dinner with me tonight? Ayos lang kung sa fast-food lang muna?" Nahihiya ako. I mean I know she has everything and I don't think she'll come with me eating in a fast food chain. Just fast food chain. I've had enough to take her out for a fancy restaurant, but I want to assure her that I'm taking our friendship seriously. And friends usually hang out in fast food chains, that's what I've learned from Greg. Hindi na ako nagtanong kay Declan at Jordan dahil baka 'kama' ang isagot ng dalawa sa akin. Pinag-iipunan ko ang mga araw na darating na manliligaw na ako sa kanya. I'm earning enough as an apprentice in dad's company, anyway.

Nagtaas siya ng kilay sa akin. "Or no?" Napakamot ako sa batok. Since when did I become this shy? Fuck it. Baby, sayo lang. You're the only one, responsible for what ever I do, baby... "But please don't change your mind of letting me drive you home, bukas kasi..." Humawak siya sa braso ko, I felt electricity connected us.

"Tomorrow? What about tomorrow?" Napasinghap ako.

"I need to join dad's company meeting tomorrow, about the improvement of our polo field... it's been quite famous to a lot of bachelors in just few months, so he wants me..." Nag-aalinlangan akong magkwento but I am so delighted with her attentiveness to what ever I say. She's biting her lower lip hard while listening to me, nag-iwas ako ng tingin. Lumunok ako. I can feel my Adam's apple protruding now. "He wants me to lead the meeting with him, since I'm a polo player... remember the first time we've met? I'm not sure if you've watched me play polo, or you were there for someone else?" Bumuga ako ng hangin. I really want to tell her everything that there will never be space of doubts in her about me.

Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang tumawa. Although there's no sound coming from her mouth. I saw she tried opening her mouth but ended up not pushing it. Napansin ko ang paghihirap sa pagsubok niya. Tumigil sa paggalaw ang kanyang balikat dahil sa pagtawa. Malapit na kami sa parking lot nang tumigil kami sa paglalakad.