Until You Say It [Completed]

Kabanata 7

Both sitting on the bench, we stay quiet. Ilang beses tinakpan ni Yshara ang mukha niya.

Yshara:

I shouldn't have said that. It's so embarrassing.

Natawa ako na kinailangan niya pa talaga akong itext para lamang sabihin iyon, gayong magkatabi lang naman kaming dalawa. Hinawakan ko ang magkabilang braso niya at marahang pinaharap sa akin.

Umiling-iling ito, nag-iiwas ng tingin. I swallowed hard and bit my lower lip. Itong babaeng 'to, kahit ilang beses akong itaboy, alam kong babalik at babalik ako. "It's okay." I rub my palm up and down her arms. "Even if you didn't ask me to, I'll be back. I'm just giving you time to realize things, to understand what you really feel." Sa wakas ay unti-unti na rin siyang nag-angat sa akin ng tingin.

Binitiwan ko ang braso niya upang hayaan siyang makapagsign language. Pumikit siya at tsaka ginalaw ang mga kamay niya.

"I thought I'd be fine now. I thought that it's okay if you finally let me out of your life. I thought. I just thought." Pinanood ko siya habang gumagalaw ang mga kamay. I watched every signs she make and get it into my mind.

I realized I'm understanding her more. I realized I'm knowing her little by little and I'm more than willing to know her even more. I never thought this day will happen, I usually am not interested with others, not unless they're close with me. I always distance myself at alam iyon ni Jordan, before we get this close, we were a total opposite. I don't understand him at first and he did understand me. I've learned that good relationship starts with understanding. You have to understand each other's weak and strong points. You have to understand each other's perfection and imperfection. And with that you'll learn to accept one another.

"But that night I can't sleep. What if you'll find someone to watch over, to look at? What if it's okay with you because you just pity me? I hate it when people pity me. I used to be strong." Ang marahang pagmuwestra ay sinabayan ng pagbagsak ng mga luha niya.

"And then I saw you with another girl. I hate it. I don't want to see it. I cannot even look at you so focused on her because that's what you always do when you're with me," pinalis ko ang mga luhang kumakawala sa gilid ng mga mata niya habang siya ay nakapikit pa rin.

"Akala ko pinalitan mo na ako. That you finally get tired of me, because I'm confusing, because I don't know what I really want." Bumagsak ang balikat niya.

"I want you. I want you stay in my life because I know myself I'm better with you, that I can get through a day not feeling afraid of my demons."

"Baby, open your eyes. I want you to look at me, see through me. That I am sincere with everything that I have for you." I am in love with you. "My feelings." Kinuha ko ang kamay niya, nilapat ang palad sa tapat ng aking puso. "Feel it? That beats that way, only for you."

"But I'm still afraid." Natigilan ako. "I'm afraid that I won't be able to reciprocate all the feelings you have for me now. I'm afraid, not being able to, will only build walls between us. I want you to be my friend, so bad now."

"Baby don't rush...I can wait. Trust me on this. Have faith in me that I'll be a friend...and if you'll let me, a lover too." Pansin ko ang pag-iwas ng tingin niya. "I'll get there too anyway. I will lie if I don't feel anything more than friends do. I like you more than a friend." But I can't confessed that I'm in love with you, not now. " And know that you're not obliged to feel the same way." Ngumiti ako sa kanya. "Yshara, sobrang saya ko na malamang gusto mo akong maging kaibigan talaga. Sobrang saya. And bear in your mind that I can wait. I can die waiting..." Ani ko na hindi binabali ang titig sa kanya.